AI Day

*As the army of AI assassins advances toward the system the AI girls have set up wall to protect themselves and prepare for the attack*

(Mira): Well there certainly are a number of them. Reaper, you can take these guys down easily right?

(Reaper): I’m afraid I won’t be of much help this time of around on a count of I can’t attack them.

(Seras): What! Why not they’re invading the system, your job is to protect the system so start protecting and do something about them.

(Reaper): It’s not that simple. I can’t attack them because they’re you.

(Isis): Oh come on Reaper this is ridiculous. You know who we are.

(Reaper): Yes, I know who you guys are, I’m not stupid. I know that that the person I’m talking to is Isis and the people I’m looking at now are Chibi Isis, Mira, Shizuku, Yin-Yang, and Seras but those AI assassins have all your specs. They have your face, facial expressions, voice, mannerism, weapons, even their binary codes are the same as yours and our master has set it up so that I can’t attack or hurt people under the safety list. It’s a failsafe, it’s to make sure that when I do go on a rampage I don’t accidently destroy you guys in the process and since the program registers these assassins as you guys I can’t attack them. The only way I can attack is if the program gets override and the only person who can do that is our master.

(Yin-Yang): And since he’s out at the moment we’re the only ones who can fight. Which means they knew this would happen.

(Mira): Let’s not jump to conclusions Yin-Yang, there’s no way they could have known about the Reaper.

(Shizuku): Then how do you explain this coordinated attack? The master is gone, the Reaper can’t fight, and we are the only ones who can do something about this. I don’t know who made these AI assassins but that person knew how to get pass our defenses and put us in this clusterfuck.

(Seras): Hit the deck!

*Everybody gets down as missiles come firing at the wall*

(Mira): Status report!

(Chibi Isis): Wall is still good but damage has been taken. Wall defense is now at 87%.

(Yin-Yang): 87! With just those two missiles.

(Chibi Isis): More missiles incoming!

*15 missiles come flying towards the wall but get shot down by Isis on top of the wall dual-wielding two anti-air rifles*

(Shizuku): 15 out of 15. You’re an inspiration to gunfighters everywhere Isis.

(Isis): Thank you. Now let’s show these cheap knock-offs that there’s no substitution for the real thing. Our wrath shall be swift, our fury shall be furious, and our anger shall be explosive!

(AI girls): YEAH!

*After their shout everyone heads down into the wall to prepare the turrets*

(Chibi Isis): Incoming more missiles. 20! No 30! No 40! No 100!

(Isis): Not a problem.

*Isis begins firing rapidly taking down all the missiles until the zeppelin appears in front of them*

(Seras): Take it down!

*Everyone begins firing on the zeppelin trying to take it down. The ship slowly begins to catch fire but it keeps heading towards the wall*

(AI assassin): Full speed! Ram into the wall!

(Seras): They’re trying to ram us!

(Chibi Isis): I’m on it.

*Chibi Isis gets up from her seat and heads to the top of the wall with her wand*

(Chibi Isis): 0101000111000000101111.

*a magic cyber circle begins to form underneath Chibi Isis as she continues her chanting. She then bites her thumb allowing herself to bleed and uses that blood on a talisman she pulls out and slams it on the ground*

(Chibi Isis): Saiba-ryuujin summon (Cyber Dragon god)!

*A big flash of light glows and out of nowhere a gigantic serpant-like dragon appears right in front of everyone*

(Shizuku): Holy shit!

(Isis): Chibi? You can summon a dragon?

(Chibi Isis): I’ve been practicing and forming contracts with all kinds of cyber beasts out there.

(Reaper): And I helped her form some of those contracts.

(Chibi Isis): Shenmue! Destroy that zeppelin!

*At the command of Chibi Isis the cyber dragon fires a beam from its mouth which pierces through the zeppelin causing it to the engines explode where it falls to the ground and explodes once again*

(Chibi Isis): And that is why you don’t underestimate the chibi.

*Chibi Isis falls to her knees as Shenmue disappears*

(Isis): Chibi that was impressive. I had no idea you could summon a dragon.

(Chibi Isis): Yeah, well don’t ask me to do it again, summoning those kinds of creatures takes a lot of me.

(Yin-Yang): Holy shit I think we might have killed them all!

(Seras): Idiot! Don’t jinx it!

(Mira): Too late, I’m already detecting hostiles emerging from the zeppelin.

(Seras): Remind me to kick your ass when this is over Yin-Yang.

*Many AI assassins emerge from the destroyed zeppelin with some having heavy burn marks over their bodies and becoming deformed from it*

(AI assassin): Primary objective destroy Nitsuj. Primary objective is nowhere to be seen. Moving on to secondary objective. Destroy AI girls. AI girls detected within wall. Advancing on their position*

*After confirming that the AI girls are in the wall the AI assassins begin running towards the wall by foot*

(Isis): They’re coming by foot. Prepare to fire on them.

(Yin-Yang): Not to worry. I had S.W.O.R.D lay down a few traps just for this occasion.

*The AI assassins continue to run towards the wall when all of a sudden one of them lands on mine and explodes. Soon a number of assassins begin landing on mines and exploding*

(Mira): You planted landmines. Nice.

(Yin-Yang): That’s not all we planted.

*One of the assassins trip on a wire and gets impaled by a spear that pops up from out of the ground while another one steps on a button and gets incinerated by a wall of fire*

(Yin-Yang): That’s what you forget for walking into a ninja’s territory. Launch the arrow cannon!

*Yin-Yang presses a button and from the wall pops out the arrow cannon*

(Mira): Area set you may fire when ready.

(Yin-Yang): Fire!

*Yin-Yang fires the arrow cannon and out comes 100 arrows with at least 75 of those arrows hitting their targets. After seeing the massive display of fire power as well as being on a battlefield riddled with landmines and other traps the assassins slowly fall back as the girls start firing on them. Isis comes in carrying Chibi Isis on her back and sits her down in a chair to regain her strength*

(Isis): Alright ladies keep the bullets coming, shoot anything that moves, and have a good time. It’s what the master would want us to do. I’m going to catch my breath for a second.

(Seras): Not to kill the mood but aren’t we being very casual about this? I mean we’re killing clones of ourselves. Anybody feel a little weird about this?

(Isis): No.

(Mira): No.

(Chibi Isis): Nope.

(Yin-Yang): Not really.

(Shizuku): Just another day at the office if you ask me.

(Seras): Didn’t think so. For a minute there I thought I was the odd one out.

(Shizuku): After everything we’ve seen and done over the years I’m pretty used to it. If you would have told me two years ago I be fighting against an army of AI assassins who look like me. I would have kissed you on the cheek, slapped your ass, and bought you a drink. Because the whole thing sounds sound so ridiculous and cool at the same time that passing it up would make me look like a fool. But now, I feel nothing. Like a child on Christmas day who didn’t get the gift they wanted.

(Mira): I expected a tactical battle of wits but instead we get a bunch of mindless idiots diving head first into enemy territory. Such a letdown.

(Chibi Isis): If it makes you feel any better Mi-chan they have a giant laser.

(Mira): A giant what?

*From the wreckage of the zeppelin comes a giant laser pointed directly at the wall*

(AI assassin): Cannon has finished charging. Preparing to fire in 30 seconds.

(Isis): Not good. That cannon is powerful enough to break through our defenses and destroy the wall entirely. Shoot it down.

*The girls fire shots at the laser but they assassins keep intercepting the blast and sacrificing themselves to stop their fire*

(Shizuku): Those bitches are actually sacrificing themselves to stop us.

(AI assassin): Firing in 3…2…1.

(Yin-Yang): Brace for impact!

*The laser canon fires and completely obliterates the wall opening up a hole in it. The AI girls survive the blast but are still a little hazing from it*

(Seras): Ohhhhh~ my head. Oh shit!

*Seras looks up and sees the giant hole in the wall as well as the assassins creating a safe path to the wall*

(Seras): Guys on your feet they’re coming!

*Seras takes out her scythe and prepares to fight as the others quickly get back and prepare to fight as well. The assassins soon reach them and fight breaks out as everyone takes on assassins of themselves and the others in an intense fight scene as the girls become overwhelmed by the numbers. The soon spells out into the house as the girls breath heavily*

(Chibi Isis): This is bad. This is really bad.

(Isis): Guy’s time for our next trap.

*As the assassins pour through the system the girls begin heading downstairs with assassins right on their heels and they get greeted by the Jack Brothers.

(Pyro Jack): Jack Brothers in the house bitches!

(Jack Frost): Ice meteor!

(Pyro Jack): Pyro whirlwind!

*The Jack Brothers unleash their attacks on the assassins coming down the stairs*

(Jack Frost): Oh yeah! We saved the day.

(Mira): Don’t get too full of yourself there could still be more of them coming.

(Pyro Jack): Oh your just jealous that we took them-ahhhhh~!

*An assassin jumps through the flames on Pyro Jack while another one also pounces on Jack Frost. Soon more assassins come jumping out and attacking the other AI girls as another fight erupts in the living room, kitchen, and hallway*

(Seras): AHHHHH~!

*Seras throws punch after punch and accidently punches Yin-Yang in the nose*

(Seras): Oh~ sorry.

(Yin-Yang): Seras! What the hell?

(Seras): Everybody looks alike! Watch out!

*Seras and Yin-Yang dodge an incoming assassin and continue fighting. Isis takes on a version of herself in a sword fight where they meet eye to eye*

(Isis): It’s just like Seras said. You have no soul.

(AI assassin): It’s because I don’t have one that I’m able to fight without fear.

(Isis): You call this fighting? Blindly jumping into enemy territory and attacking without so much as plan while sacrificing yourselves. You might as well just be mindless zombie.

(AI assassin): The only thing that matters is accomplishing our objectives. And if that means some of us must die to do it then so be it.

*While Isis is distracted another assassin that looks like Seras fires her crossbow and shoots Isis in the leg piercing her*

(Isis): AHHHHHHHHHH~!

(Shizuku): Isis.

*Shizuku tries to reach her but is held back by the other assassins as are the others. As the Isis assassin prepares to kill Isis she gets taken out by a familiar figure the girls all know and love and Isis gets a big smile on her face*

(Isis): Master!

(Chibi Isis): Nii-chan!

(Nitsuj): Made it in time. You guys, basement, now!

(Shizuku): But boss.

(Nitsuj): I said now!

*After seeing the intense look in Nitsuj’s eyes and the sense of urgency in his voice the AI girls do what he says. Mira and Chibi Isis help pick up Isis while Seras, Shizuku and Yin-Yang clear a path for the basement and Nitsuj watches their back*

(AI assassin): Primary objective has been found. Kill Nitsuj.

(Nitsuj): Alright you soulless wenches you ready to know what pain is like?

*A few assassins charge at Nitsuj but he takes them out with one slash of his sword and begins attacking more assassins that come toward him*

(Nitsuj): The only person allowed to pierce any of these girls is me.

*Nitsuj continues to slash all assassins that come his way. Once he sees the AI girls start heading down into the basement he begins to make his way towards the basement but gets cut off by the assassins and gets his sword stolen from him. He then pulls out another sword which happens to be Yami no Period and he punches the closest assassin to him to the ground*

(Nitsuj): Who else wants some?

*Soon more assassins come after Nitsuj where he gets Hikari no Nenrei back*

(Nitsuj): Two sword style: Dark Descent!

*Nitsuj takes both of his sword and plants them into the ground creating a sword slash wave which clears the path to the basement and heads to the door quickly locking it behind him and heading down to check on the girls*

(Nitsuj): This is not the homecoming I was expecting.

(Yin-Yang): Master that was amazing. I’ve never seen your fighting style be so quick and sinister.

(Nitsuj): Yeah, I reconnected with a ghost from my past. We’ll talk about it later, for now, we need to get rid of these assassins.

(Mira): We need the Reaper.

(Nitsuj): Agreed.

(Seras): But how, that guy won’t attack them unless you override the safety program. Wherever that is?

(Nitsuj): Oh that’s easy, it’s by your feet.

*Nitsuj presses a button on his watch and up pops a stool with a computer on it. Nitsuj walks up to it and gets a retinal scan done on him*

(Computer): Access granted.

(Nitsuj): Computer, unleash Protocol Reaper. Override all safety programs and scan the house except for the basement!

(Computer): Command acknowledged. Beginning Protocol Reaper.

*Once Protocol Reaper is activated a chill feels the house as the Reaper steps from out of the system and begins killing every assassin he comes across. Within 5 minutes the Reaper has destroyed every assassin in the house*

(Reaper): The sweep is completed. All unwanted anomalies have been deleted. Protocol is shutting down and cannot be used for another 6 months. Also, welcome back master, we’ve missed you.

*Once the Reaper finishes his sentence he leaves and heads back into the system. Nitsuj and the others exit the basement to see what a mess the house is*

(Nitsuj): *Takes a deep sigh* I wanted to redecorate but this isn’t what I had in mind.

(Pyro Jack): Ohh~, did our team win?

(Nitsuj): Yes we won.

(Pyro Jack): Nitsuj!

(Jack Frost): Twitter said you were dead. You look great.

(Pyro Jack): And you feel great as well. I can sense the anime force within you and everything.

(Isis): So I take it the trip was a success?

(Nitsuj): Yep, it took longer than I expected, but it was one fun trip. Also, I have an announcement to make. As of right now you guys are to start calling me by Nitsuj. From now on none of this master stuff. We’re not master and servants, we’re friends.

*Everyone is both shocked and happy by this announcement*

(Seras): Are you an assassin as well?

(Nitsuj): No! Let’s just say I met a good friend who offered me a new perspective on my relationship with you guys. You guys have always stuck by me through thick and thin and I want to show my appreciation to you. Now then, Mira, call State Farm and tell them we got a situation over here. Shizuku, Seras, Chibi and Yin-Yang go into the system and check on the damage done. As for you Isis *picks up Isis and puts her in the marriage cradle position as she blushes*, let’s get you fixed up.

*Everybody goes off to do their task as Nitsuj carries Isis up the stairs nice and slowly as to not hurt her leg*

(Nitsuj): Thanks for holding down the fort for me. I know it must have been tough.

(Isis): It was, but it was a lot of fun too. Still, I’m looking forward to hearing your reviews again. Also, *Isis kisses Nitsuj on the cheek which shocks Nitsuj* welcome back. By the way where did those swords come from.

(Nitsuj): Oh this? That’s an epic tale for another time.

The End

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