Journey to the East Part 15

*As Nitsuj continues to meditate under the cherry blossom tree, Yume sits by the cave waiting patiently for his return*

(Mori): Here you go. I bought you some chicken soup.

(Yume): Thanks, but I’m not really that hungry.

(Mori): It would appear that Nitsuj has conquered his first three trials. Quite the amazing feet. But he still has a long way to go and these next trials will only get tougher. Now as for you, it’s almost nighttime, you should come inside. It may be summer but it can get cold up here at nights. Also, the council would like to discuss something very important with you.

*Yume gets up and follows Mori inside. Back in Nitsuj’s mind he managed to make it down the mountain safely and into the city filled with all types of background anime characters*

(Nitsuj): I could really use a new shirt and a bath.

(Bathhouse owner): Looking for a bath and a place to relax? Than come on over to Project Bathhouse!

(Nitsuj): I do not have money.

*Nitsuj begins to walk away*

(Bathhouse owner): Not too worry it’s on the house and its mix bathing.

*Nitsuj quickly turns around and enters the bathhouse*

(Nitsuj): My man.

*After taking his clothes off Nitsuj enters the baths where he’s the only one there*

(Nitsuj): Oh what the hell? I finally get a chance to try mixed bathing and there’s no one around to enjoy it with? Oh this is bullshit.

(???): Oh there’s someone already in here?

*Nitsuj slowly turned around after hearing the soft sweet voice. Because of the steam he couldn’t get a clear view of who was entering but just from the soft voice Nitsuj knew it was a girl*

(Nitsuj): Why yes there is. Please come on in. Don’t be shy the water’s great. I’d be more than happy to wash your back for you.

*As the shadowy figure slowly walks in and gets closer to Nitsuj he begins to tremble with excitement. The figure finally reaches Nitsuj where he sees it’s a trap*

(???): Thank you for the offer. I happily accept.

(Nitsuj): Ahhhhhhhhhh~!

*Nitsuj shocked by what he sees begins to walk backwards and slips*

(???): Oh my goodness. Are you okay? Did the steam finally get to you?

*The trap approaches Nitsuj and puts his forehead on Nitsuj’s forehead*

(Nitsuj): I’m fine! Please stay back!

*Nitsuj gets up feeling flustered and embarrassed in front of the trap*

(Nitsuj): Okay, first off. Are you a man or a woman?

(???): I’m clearly a man as you can see.

(Nitsuj): With that voice and body?

(???): I can’t help it I was born this way. Oh I’m sorry. Where are my manners. My name is Haruhiko. I represent your envy.

(Nitsuj): My envy’s a trap? How does that work?

(Haruhiko): Beats me. Maybe in truth your envious of trap characters.

(Nitsuj): That cannot be further from the truth.

(Haruhiko): Than maybe your just weird like that.

(Nitsuj): Look that doesn’t matter could you at least stop covering your whole body with a towel. It’s really offsetting your previous statement. I’m guessing you’re here to fight me huh?

(Haruhiko): Actually I’d rather not fight you. I think you should just give up now. There’s no reason for you to keep chasing after other reviewers. Let someone else do the job and let’s do something else. I’m pretty envious of those guys having more trophies than me on Playstation. What say we start playing games and surpass them?

(Nitsuj): That sounds tempting but no. I am a reviewer and I will continue to be one until I retire. Today is not the day to retire so what do I have to do to get pass you?

(Haruhiko): *Sigh* Very well. If you want to pass you have to catch me in this steam.

*Soon a large fog of steam covers the room and many shadowy figures appear throughout the room*

(Haruhiko): Find the real me and I’ll tell you where to go next.

*Nitsuj grabs the closest figure to him believing that’s Haruhiko but instead grabs a very hairy man and gets punched for it*

(Nitsuj): Urgh~ a piece of hair went into my mouth.

(Haruhiko): Oh yeah I forgot to mention. For every wrong pick you get you’ll get punished for it. Have fun.

(Nitsuj): Okay. I’ve got to choose carefully this time. Man, this fog is so thick I can hardly make out who’s who.

*After journeying through the steam some more he grabs a figure once again believing it’s Haruhiko but instead grabs a young lady*

(Young lady): Pervert!

*The young lady slaps him hard across the face and he accidently bumps into one of the shadowy figures which turns out to be a dog who bites him in the butt*

(Nitsuj): Ahhhhh~!

(Haruhiko): Wow, you’re really bad at this. This is no different than your blogs.

(Nitsuj): You’re seriously going to relate my blogs to this situation?

(Haruhiko): These two events are actually quite similar. You write a blog and send it out on the internet hoping to get anyone’s attention and when you do what do they do? Punch you right in the face, slap you, make fun of you, and tell you how your work is nothing compared to someone else’s work. You try so desperately to gain the fame of other internet celebrities because in truth all your looking for is attention but there are much better ways to get it than having yourself get humiliated week after week.

(Nitsuj): You know what you’re right. There are better ways to get attention than by humiliating myself. Just like this situation, there’s a better way to catch than just randomly wandering through this fog?

*Clears throat*

(Nitsuj): I’ve got you~ under my skin~. I’ve got you~ deep in the heart of me~.

(Haruhiko): So deep in my heart~ that your really a part of me~. I’ve got you~ under my skin~.

(Nitsuj): I tried so~ not to give in~. I said to myself this a fair. Never will go so well~.

(Haruhiko): But why should you try when baby you know so well~. You’ve got me~ under your skin~.

*Following Haruhiko’s voice Nitsuj closes in on him*

(Nitsuj): I sacrifice anything come what might, for the sake of having you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats, repeats in my ear.

(Haruhiko): Don’t you know little fool~ you never can win~. Use your mentality~. Wake up to~ reality~.

(Nitsuj): But each time that I do just thought of you~ makes me start. Before I begin. Cause I’ve got you~ under my skin~.

*Nitsuj and Haruhiko begin to hum as Nitsuj once again begins to close in on Haruhiko*

(Nitsuj): I would sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats, how it yells in my ear.

*Haruhiko sings out loudly*

(Haruhiko): Don’t~ you know little fool~. You never can win~. Why not use your mentality~? Step up! Wake up! To~ reality~. But~ each time you- just the start of me~ makes you stop before you begin~

*Nitsuj finally recognizing Haruhiko’s figure reaches out and grabs him*

(Nitsuj): Cause I’ve got you~ under my skin~.

(Haruhiko): Yes you’ve got me~ under your skin~.

(Nitsuj): That was good.

(Haruhiko): Yes. But how did you know that would work on me.

(Nitsuj): Simple. You are me and I am you. You are my envy and if there’s one thing you can’t resist is someone singing Frank Sinatra better than you.

(Haruhiko): Oh~ your right. Alright you win. Go to this address to keep going.

*Haruhiko goes to sit in one of the baths as Nitsuj begins to walk out*

(Haruhiko): I did enjoy singing with you. *Blushes* It was very enjoyable *smiles*.

(Nitsuj): Honestly. Either be a girl or a cute child.

*Nitsuj leaves the bathhouse with new clothes and heads to the address that Haruhiko gave him which happens to be a club*

(Nitsuj): Well this is the place.

*Nitsuj walks up to the door and knocks*

(Doorman): Sorry bud. The club is packed.

*Three girls walk up and the doorman lets them in*

(Nitsuj): Hey! You said the club is packed.

(Doorman): It is. Packed with women. Take the hint buddy, no males allowed in. Not no male. Not no how.

(Nitsuj): But I’m Nitsuj! This is my mind!

(Doorman): Well why didn’t you say so sooner. The owner’s been expecting you.

*The doorman opens the door and Nitsuj enters the club where there are all kinds of hot anime girls walking around, dancing, chatting, and laughing*

(Nitsuj): I am in Heaven.

(???): You got that right N Daddy.

*Nitsuj turns around to see a suave and handsome looking man that looks exactly like him only slightly older, muscular, and speaking with a British accent*

(Nitsuj): Let me guess, your one of my sins aren’t you?

(???): Would I be anything else? Names Nigel and lust is my game.

(Holo): Nigel~. Come have a drink with me pretty please.

(Erza Scarlet): Back off you hag he’s having a drink with me.

*Holo and Erza get ready to fight each other*

(Nigel): Ladies please. There’s no reason to fight over me. I be more than happy to have a drink with both of you.

*Nigel flashes a smile at the two and their faces turn bright red as hearts appears in their eyes*

(Holo and Erza): Okay.

(Nigel): That’s more like it.

(Holo): Please don’t keep us waiting.

*Holo and Erza begin to walk towards the bar*

(Nitsuj): You certainly have those girls wrapped around your finger.

(Nigel): Not just them. Every girl in here wants a piece of me and there’s plenty of me to go around.

*Nagisa from Assassination Classroom walks up and gives Nigel his phone number*

(Nagisa): *Blushing* Call me.

(Nitsuj): Really? Trap characters as well. Man you’re a manwhore.

(Nigel): What? The traps need love too and I don’t discriminate.

(Nitsuj): And yet you don’t allow men in here.

(Nigel): Different story. Now then *pulls out two guns and throws one to Nitsuj* I’m sure you’re familiar with Gal Gun.

(Nitsuj): Indeed I am.

(Nigel): Good. The rules are quite simple. Use the guns to get the girls to fall in love with you. The one who gets the most girls to fall in love with him at the end of 10 minutes’ wins and your free to steal girls from the opposing team.

(Nitsuj): Alright.

(Nigel): On your mark. Get set. Go!

*Nitsuj and Nigel quickly begin running towards the dance floor and begin shooting every girl they see. Because the girls fall madly in love with them it becomes harder to shoot other girls while trying not to get mauled by the girls who are crazy for them. As time goes on Nitsuj begins to notice how Nigel has more girls than him because his rate of fire is faster than his*

(Nitsuj): Damn it I’m falling behind. And there’s only two minutes left. These guns are powered by our libido and since he’s the sin of lust he’s practically overflowing with it. If the Jack Bros. were here they could easily beat him. Nobody could out beat their libido. Wait a minute what did they tell me about libido a long time ago?

*Flashback*

(Nitsuj): I really don’t get you guys. How can your libido be so high?

(Jack Frost): Our perverted nature has nothing to do with our libido.

(Pyro Jack): It’s all about ecstasy and using your imagination to reach it. Even if a person has a high libido if they can’t use their imagination to reach that high level of ecstasy then they’re nothing.

(Jack Frost): Don’t rely so much on your libido. Instead use your imagination and build it up to release it all in one glorious shot.

*Flashback ends*

(Nitsuj): Use my imagination huh? Alright. I’ll trust the wisdom of the perverts.

*Using his active imagination Nitsuj begins to fantasize many sexual fantasies with the girls. He soon begins firing where his rate of fire has increased drastically. He quickly begins to catch up to Nigel making him nervous and throwing him off. With just than 10 seconds left to go and Nitsuj still down a few girls he fires one last shot releasing his ecstasy in one final shot getting a majority of Nigel’s girls and in the end winning*

(Nigel): I don’t understand. How could I lose to you in a game of ecchi.

(Nitsuj): You relied too much on your libido to carry you over you began to wear your body out. Imagination goes along way. Two perverts taught me that a while ago.

(Nigel): Of course. I was too focused on libido. I guess I still have a lot to learn about lust. Well you win. Take the back door out and start heading toward the next sin.

*Nitsuj listening to Nigel’s words takes the back door and instantly winds up in the mountains. The club and town that he was in has vanished entirely and he stands in the mountains. After walking for a few minutes he arrives in a forest and senses a killing intent approaching him. He draws his sword ready to fight*

(Nitsuj): Show yourself.

*The person with the killing intent comes out and Nitsuj sees that the person looks just like him only with wild and ungroomed long hair*

(Nitsuj): Judging by this killing intent you’re my wrath aren’t you?

(???): THAT IS CORRECT! MY NAME IS RYUUGI!

(Nitsuj): Why are you shouting?

(Ryuugi): SHUT UP! IF YOU WISH TO PASS YOU MUST DEFEAT ME!

(Nitsuj): Easy.

*Nitsuj closes his eyes and takes a deep breath*

(Nitsuj): This battle will end before it begins. The key to defeating wrath is to calm your mind.

*Nitsuj focuses and calms his mind but Ryuugi is still there and hits him with the hilt of his sword*

(Nitsuj): Or I can just take my sword and slash you to death.

*Nitsuj draws his sword and begins fighting Ryuugi in a heated battle. Because Ryuugi fights with anger his attacks are easy to predict and defend against. This gives Nitsuj the advantage and he easily gets attacks in on Ryuugi beating him*

(Nitsuj): Fatality.

(Ryuugi): NOT QUITE!

*Another Ryuugi appears from the bushes and charges at Nitsuj with all his might but Nitsuj easily slashes him down*

(Nitsuj): As I was saying fatality.

(Ryuugi): AND AS I WAS SAYING I’M NOT FINISHED!

*Two more Ryuugis appear from the bushes and once Nitsuj begins to look around him he sees that there are Ryuugis waiting all around him ready to fight*

(Nitsuj): Bullshit.

*The Ryuugis begin coming after Nitsuj one by one with Nitsuj attacking and defending himself against all of them. It is a heated fight with sparks flying all over the place and starting a fire in the forest. Soon Nitsuj and Ryuugis become surrounded in a ring of fire with no escape*

(Ryuugi): GIVE UP NOW AND TURN BACK! PROJECT NITSUJ GIVES US NOTHING BUT PAIN AND ANGER. HORRIBLE ANIME UPON HORRIBLE ANIME THAT OFFERS US NOTHING BUT ANNOYANCE, PAIN, SUFFERING AND ANGER!

(Nitsuj): What are you talking about I’ve reviewed good animes in the past. If anything sometimes I think I review too many good animes and not enough bad animes. Wait a minute. Hey you, what do you think of School Days?

(Ryuugi): TERRIBLE! ABSOULUTE GARBAGE THAT DESERVES TO BE DESTROYED AND ANYONE INVOLVED IN IT SHOULD HATE THEMSELVES!

(Nitsuj): You on the right, what anime do you hate the most?

(Ryuugi): IKKITOUSEN!

(Nitsuj): How about you on the left, what cliché in anime do you hate the most?

(Ryuugi): THE MALE CHARACTER IN A HAREM ANIME BEING A DENSE DUMBASS!

(Nitsuj): Now I get it. You guys don’t represent my anger. You represent my frustration and anger with bad anime. You guys are the living embodiments of everything I despise in anime. Well not anymore.

*Nitsuj takes a deep breath and once again begins to meditate to calm his mind*

(Ryuugi): WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

(Nitsuj): This battle is over. I now let go of my frustrations and anger with bad anime.

(Ryuugi): YEAH RIGHT! LIKE YOU COULD EVER LET GO OF THAT! NOW DIE!

*All of the Ryuugi’s charge at Nitsuj and prepare to attack him but just before their attacks reach him they all disappear. The fire in the forest stops and nature is restored with peace. There is only one Ryuugi left and he has no weapon*

(Ryuugi): You did it. You actually did it.

(Nitsuj): It wasn’t easy. I still have frustrations with anime but even so I know that the positives of animes easily outweigh the negatives of anime. I won’t let that anger control me and stop me from enjoying anime.

(Ryuugi): Well done. Head towards the top of the mountain to face your final sin. You’ve come along way but the final sin might prove too much for even you to handle.

*Ryuugi finishes his sentence and then vanishes into thin air. Nitsuj looks to the top of mountain*

(Nitsuj): I know you’re up there waiting for me. These tricks are starting to annoy me.

*Nitsuj continues to walk and heads toward the top of the mountain*

To be concluded

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