Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. You know, I remember a while back ago Suede, one of the reviewers for the site said that there are two types of arguments in the world, objective and subjective. Objective means something is absolutely true, there is no arguing it or disagreeing with it because it is true. Subjective means something is true but only to the individual saying it, for example, I think One Piece is the greatest manga out there while someone else thinks Naruto is the greatest manga out there. Neither of us is right but neither of us is wrong it’s just what we as individuals believe to be true. Therefore, today it is my subjective opinion that Mahou Sensei Negima sucks. Now when I say Mahou Sensei Negima sucks I’m not talking about the manga because the manga is quite good and enjoyable despite the loose ending; in fact, this was actually the first manga I read, yeah, I use to go into my local Borders and read the manga for fun (me and the store manager were good friends and I think he was just happy to see someone actually take an interest in the manga section). It was written by Ken Akamatsu in 2003 the same guy who wrote that god awful Love Hina series. The manga follows the story of a young 10 year-old boy named Negi Springfield who has just graduated from magic school but in order for him to get his magic license he has to become an English teacher in Japan at an all-girl middle school for one year while keeping his secret or he’ll be punished. I guess you could think of this as Japan’s version of Harry Potter. In 2005 the anime studio Xebec (the guys who bought us D.N. Angel, Shaman King, and the Love-Ru series) made an anime adaption of the manga since the manga was becoming quite popular at this point. Alright, helping to promote a popular manga that deserves to be popular I can get behind but I what I can’t behind is when you go off and make your own story and events that never happen and pretty much do the characters no justice. Don’t believe me; well let’s take a look at Mahou Sensei Negima.
Opening/Ending theme
Our opening song is Happy Material sung by all the voice actors of Negi’s class which is 31 girls. That’s a lot of voice actors right there folks. Actually, they don’t all sing it at the same time, they split them up in groups and have them sing it for a number of episodes and then have the next group sing the opening. It took me a while but after the first half of the anime I started to like it. It’s energetic, happy, cheerful, and catchy. I don’t particularly have a favorite group seeing as how most of the time I couldn’t tell who was singing most of the time but still I think you’ll enjoy whichever version there is. I would always listen to this song when reading the manga and it’s the one song everyone associates with the series. There are two endings for this series, the first is Kagayaku Kimi e sung from episodes 1-13 which is alright I didn’t really care for it and would usually skip over it but the second ending Shisho to Nayameru Otomegumi was the one I really liked. Just like the opening it’s energetic, happy, cheerful, and catchy that you just wanna get up and dance to it. This ending almost made the top 11 anime endings list but I kind of cut it short of the list so just consider it an honorable mention and one worth checking out. These endings just like the opening are sung by the many voice actors of the girls in Negi’s class.
Episodes 1-4
We start this anime in an impressive bathhouse (man the 1% knows how to take care of their students) where we see (and I kid you not) a girl dressed like a fish is spitting out fried tofu in a straight line with the name Takahata written on it (I swear to God this is the first scene in the anime, if I am telling the truth may Bill from accounting fall out a window, https://youtu.be/CavFroD1zGs, don’t worry folks he’ll be back in the office in no time). This is Asuna, one of our main heroines who is doing this ritual in the hopes to get her homeroom teacher from last year Takahata to be her homeroom teacher again for the new school semester. Why? Well because she has a crush on him and has been planning to confess to him for some time (can’t say I blame her he’s only male within a radius of the school so it’s either him or lesbianism and she doesn’t look like the type who’s in to girls). I should also point out that this anime has already screwed up, in the manga this wasn’t the first scene we see, the first scene we see is Negi graduating from the magic academy, getting his final test to become a mage, and then arriving at the school where he eventually meets Asuna. Why did they change it, it was good the way it was so why give us this mindfuck of a scene with one of the main heroines acting like an idiot? It’s not really all that funny, it’s weird and something we’ll never bring up again. After being told it was a joke by her roommate and friend Konoka who is also the granddaughter of the school’s principal, they rush to the school building with Asuna still hoping that Takahata will be her homeroom teacher with Negi running beside her and telling her that her love will fail (you need to learn how to speak to girls Negi). After Asuna roughs him up a little bit for the comment they rush off to class where we get a glimpse at all of the 31 girls this anime has to offer (and I guarantee you that before this anime is over all of them will have kissed the 10 year old boy). As the class settles in we see that their homeroom teacher is none other than Negi who falls for the old black board duster trap (a classic, nice) only to get trip by a rope, fall head first into a bucket, and get shot by non-lethal arrows (geez people I’m all for a good prank but this is just straight up trying to kill the guy right here). After that rude welcoming Takahata comes in to announce that Negi is their new homeroom and they all crowd around and ask him questions since he’s so cute (well they’re all underage so it’s technically okay). Asuna grabs him because for a split second he stopped the eraser from falling on his head that Asuna and now she wants answers. She’s force to let go by the class representative Ayaka (who is a shotacon) and he sneezes on Asuna which rips apart her uniform and reveals her bear panties (damn, the original fus ro dah right there folks). And once again we have all sorts of screw ups in these last scenes. First off Asuna and Konoka already knew that Negi was going to be their homeroom teacher, second, Takahata was never in this scene instead it was another teacher named Shizuna (who has big tits by the way, just throwing that out there),and third, Negi never sneezed. Once again, what is with these pointless changes, why couldn’t they have just stuck to the original material and show it the way it was meant to be? If you think I’m being to technical just know that I’m holding back, I haven’t even talked about how most of the hair colors are wrong, the faces on most of the characters are recycled, and that their seat arrangement is all wrong. Argh, we’re only like 15 minutes into the first episode and yet every other scene is a screw up that could bitch about I feel like Spoony doing a Final Fantasy review. This isn’t a review at this point it’s just me trolling. Okay, from now on I’m just gonna focus on the anime and save all the screw-ups for a side blog later on but I’m gonna have a counter in the blog to show the number of screw-ups this anime is making. We’re already at 7 screw-ups so keep an eye on that counter because trust me, it’s gonna keep going up. Getting back to the anime as Negi tries to teach the class Asuna keeps flinging pieces of an eraser at Negi’s head to get him to reveal his secret (well that’s just down right mean, cruel, and a waste of a good eraser. Our heroine everyone, wasting school supplies to pick on a little kid). After Ayaka tells him it’s Asuna and bad-mouths her, the two get into a fight which disrupts the class (bring in the mud pit). Negi tries to stop it but the bell rings and class comes to an end for the day. After class, the girls plan a welcome party for Negi (screw-up: 8) and Negi gets his student roster from Takahata in the teacher’s office (screw-up:9). As he’s sitting by the school fountain he sees one of his students Nodoka, a shy girl who has a slight fear of men (oh god on top of the screw-ups I gotta deal with another Yukiho) carrying a large stack of books fall down the stairs. He uses his magic to stop her from hitting the group and then catch her (nice). As the episode ends we see Negi realize that Asuna is right behind him and that she saw the whole thing (great, now we gotta kill, go grab your shovel).
We start off episode 2 where episode 1 left off with Asuna grabbing Negi and running off (he’s being abducted call the cops. Also screw-up:10). Asuna quickly figures out that Negi is a wizard (*cue Harry Potter music*) and he tries to erase her memory but instead destroys her panties instead and Takahata walks in and see her private parts (. . . okay this technically did happen in the manga so I’ll let it slide). Negi tells Asuna that he’s there for training and begs her to keep his secret because if anyone discovers he’s a wizard he’ll be recalled and turned into an ermine. She agrees to keep it a secret if Negi agrees to read Takahata’s mind to see how he feels about her in which he agrees (I’ll keep you my dirty little secret dirty little secret). They arrive at the cafeteria I assume where the whole class is waiting to have a welcome party for Negi. There, he eats Japanese food, watch a few of students show off their talents (I mean that in a club activities way not a sexual way you perverts. Screw-up: 11). He finally goes up to Takahata where he reads his mind and all he was thinking about was Asuna’s bear panties (wow, what a pervert) and Asuna walks back to her room where she has fried tofu all over the place with Takahata’s name on them (okay, you’re close to passing Helga from Hey Arnold in terms of obsession) where she comes to the conclusion that magic and rituals isn’t the way to go (of course not, just knock him out, keep him held captive and brainwash him into loving you that’s how I got all my dates. This is also why I’m banned from going into France. Also screw-up: 12). After the party Konoka takes Negi back to her place (woooah~) where he’ll be living together with her and Asuna until new arrangements can be made (and by that I mean it will never happen he’s stuck there with them. Once again screw-up:13). Asuna objects because she hates kids and that she can’t stand him as their teacher (oh come on, you’re gonna throw him out in the cold, man you’re really giving the Japanese people a bad name). He decides to leave and go to Takahata’s place (screw-up:14). The next day as Asuna is going to her paper route she sees Negi in the grass looking for four-leaf clovers (*Irish impression* ha! You’ll never me find pot of gold that way me boy). It turns out he needs them as ingredients for a love potion he plans on making for Asuna so that she can confess to Takahata but Asuna says she doesn’t need it (screw-up:15) and instead she uses him to practice her confession where she pretends to almost kiss him but pulls back at the end (damn, only in Japan for 1 day and already girls are falling for him. British charm is deadly). The episode ends with her dropping Negi off back at her room and allowing him to stay (screw-up:16).
In episode 3 Negi finally finishes up that love potion that he was working on last episode. We also see that Nodoka has developed a crush on Negi and her friends Yue and Haruna try to get her to talk to Negi more in the hopes it’ll cure her man phobia (good they’re actually trying to fix that). In this episode Asuna also learns that Negi lost his parents when he was still young and that he’s been raised by his older sister all this time. Negi gives the love potion to Asuna but she forces Negi to drink since she doesn’t trust it’ll work. After drinking Konoka, Ayaka, and a few of the other girls in class (whose names I know but I’m too lazy to write them) fall for Negi and start to chase him. With the help of Nodoka he hides in a library with her but she also falls victim to the love potion and starts to hit on Negi where a pile of books falls on top of them both. With nowhere to run Nodoka comes in for the kiss but Asuna kicks down the door, saves Negi, and the love potions wears off.
We open up episode 4 with Asuna running her paper route early in the morning (shouldn’t she have a bicycle or something). Negi shows up on his staff and offers Asuna a ride but the two are to heavy and they spiral out of control and into a pile of garbage (hey, separate your trash people, we can still use these characters for something). At school Asuna along with Yue, Kaede, Ku-fei, and Makie are forced to stay behind after class for make-up lessons since they did poorly on a test because in truth these 5 are the lowest students in the class and I have been nicknamed the Baka Rangers (and if you can believe it all of these girls eventually become a love interest for Negi). Negi gives them a small quiz and when they meet the required score they can leave. Yue scores high the first time and the others soon follow except for Asuna who keeps scoring low that she eventually runs out and Negi chases her all throughout the school where we see some of his students participate in club activities (screw-up:17). He eventually catches up to her and Negi reveals that the reason he wants to be a wizard so much is because he wants to find his father since he believes he’s still alive. After hearing this Asuna decides to try a little harder in her studies. Back at their room Negi grades her I don’t know 100th test and she finally passes (screw-up:18). After smelling Negi she discovers that he hasn’t taken a bath yet today because he hates baths and she drags him to the bathhouse where she washes him. In the bathhouse she reveals that her parents are also dead and that she’s doing a part time to job pay back Konoka’s grandpa for taking her in. The rest of the class shows up and through a series of events they decide to have contest in which the person who has the largest breasts gets to have Negi for their dorm room (*Bill Cosboy impression* this contest has more jiggle in it than my Jell-O commercials). While they compare breast Asuna and Negi try to sneak out but are seen and thus Asuna is forced to participate in the contest (oh sure let’s not ask the child who he wants to be with it’s not as if he has a choice in the matter). Since Negi wants to stay with Asuna he grabs his staff and cast a spell which makes Asuna’s breast bigger (why does the 10 year-old boy know how to make breast bigger) and wins (winner by a cup size). But it works too well as her breast keep getting bigger and they eventually burst. The episode ends with Asuna scolding Negi in her room while Konoka applies Neosporin to her chest (screw-up:19).
Episode 5-10
Episode 5 opens up with Negi saving Nodoka again (screw-up:20, in fact these next few episodes might as well be counted as screw-ups:21-29 because even though the stories do in fact happen in the manga the episode order in which they appear is all wrong. I know you can’t see me right now but I can assure you I am on the brink of snapping!). After rescuing her, Asuna pulls Negi away and gives him a letter from his sister asking him if he’s found a partner yet. Negi explains to Asuna that its customary for wizards to have partners that help them on their journey (usually warriors) and that usually they get married to each other (sounds like the childhood friend formula to me). In order to form a partnership the two must enter a pactio circle and kiss each other to complete the contract. Upon completion the partner of the wizard receives a pactio card that holds a special power for them to use. The two twins Fuka and Fumika (students of class) overhear their conversation and begin spreading rumors about Negi being a prince and the reason he came to Japan was to find himself a bride and stir a girl’s magic cauldron. Later that night while Negi is taking a bath the girls come in and try to win his favor but something keeps touching the girls in strange places (sorry, his penis has a mind of its own. Also screw-up:30). It turns out it was an ermine touching them and they knock it out. Negi takes the creature back to his room where we find out that the creature is actually a fairy named Chamo a talking ermine who is a friend of Negi (fairies~). The anime doesn’t go much into depth about his past but in the manga we’re told that Negi saved him from a trap and since then has looked up to Negi as a big-brother. He came to the school to help Negi find his partner in which he says Nodoka is the best partner for him so he sets the two up behind the school building and just before they perform the ceremony Asuna comes in to stop it to reveal that Chamo is a panty thief who escaped to Japan after stealing 3000 pairs of panties (I don’t know whether to be disturbed or impress that an animal managed to steal 3000 pairs of panties). Chamo comes clean and says he stole the panties for his sister so that she would stay warm and that he came to Japan in the hopes of Negi hiring him as a familiar. As Chamo walks away apologizing Negi stops him and says he’ll let him be his familiar. They drop the unconscious Nodoka by her locker and make her think it’s a dream that she had.
In episode 6 things start to pick-up with rumors going around that a vampire is at the school and attacking girls at night (Alucard, what did I tell you about jumping into other animes? I thought we agreed that after the mess you caused in Highschool of the Dead you would remain in Hellsing Ultimate). Negi decides to investigate the incident and later on that night when Nodoka is walking home the vampire appears and tries to suck Nodoka’s blood but Negi shows up to stop it. The vampire reveals itself to be Evangeline (aka Eva) another one of Negi’s classmates who is actually a shinso vampire who was imprisoned in the school by Negi’s dad and the only way for her to escape is by sucking the blood of Negi which will give her enough power to break the barrier. He reflects her attacks when Asuna shows up (screw-up:31) and chases after her. They have a pretty good air battle with Negi cornering her on the roof but before he can launch his final spell Eva’s partner Chachamaru who is an android shows up to stop his invocation. She grabs Negi and as Eva is about to suck his blood (hopefully from the neck and not the other part otherwise he’ll need an adult) Asuna shows up, kicks her, and she bites her tongue which stops her from casting spells and she retreats (screw-up:32). She goes to check on Negi who is so scared that he cries and flies away to the mountains because he blames himself for putting the others in danger (screw-up:33). He hits a tree and falls to the ground losing his staff and is discovered by Kaede who goes up to the mountains to train on Sundays since she comes from a clan of ninjas (so wait a vampire, a robot and a ninja are his students? This isn’t a class it’s a list of targets for Keima in TWGOK).
In the next episode Negi hangs out with Kaede who can sense that Negi is troubled but out of respect doesn’t try to dig in to it. Instead she shows off her ninja like skills and takes a bath with Negi in a small outdoor tub in swimsuit (I should probably be okay with this since they’re both minors but looking at Kaede’s body you honestly wouldn’t think she was in middle school. Also screw-up:34). The next day Negi finds his staff and flies back to the academy determined to face Eva again. Also Kaede discovers that he’s a wizard which she isn’t all that shocked about and decides to keep it a secret until he’s ready to tell her (Baka Black may not be smart at school but she’s got sharp eyes). He returns only to be greeted by Asuna and Chamo (screw-up:35) and they decide to take down Chachamaru while Eva is away. They follow Chachmaru around where they discover that she’s actually a really nice person who does all sorts of nice things, is popular with the local kids, and even feeds the stray cats in the neighborhood (haven’t seen an android this nice since Chobits). They confront and fight her but when Negi is about to deliver the final blow he calls his attack back because he just can’t hurt one of his students and Chachamaru escapes.
We start off episode 8 with a flashback which shows Eva pursuing Negi’s dad, Nagi, because she has a crush on him but he’s not in to lolis (sure she’s over a 100 years old but wouldn’t you call the police if you saw them on a date). She loses to him in a fight and he accidently puts a spell on her which traps her at Mahora Academy but he makes a promise to return and free her when he figures out how to undo the spell (screw-up:36. *grabs a pillow and starts beating it* Goddammit anime what the fuck is wrong with you, argh *throws pillow*. Let’s continue). Later that night Eva causes a blackout all over the school (screw-up:37. Bullshit, bullshit ho) and has Makie (who is under Eva’s control) tell Negi to come to the bathhouse for their final battle. He arrives at the bathhouse where Makie and a few under students have come under Eva’s control and try to strip him (*sarcastic voice* oh no, stop you fiends, stop trying to make a man out of him) but he knocks them out and the fight begins. She chases him to the bridge where Negi springs his trap (you activated my trap: bondage ropes) but Eva escapes it easily and Chachamaru grabs his staff and throws it into the river (I meant his actual staff not the one in his pants). As Eva is about to suck out his blood (screw-up:38. Stop skipping pivotal parts dumbasses). Asuna shows up with Chamo and performs a correct pactio in which Asuna becomes Negi’s partner and she receives her own magic card and item to show that she belongs to Negi (10 years old and he’s already got a girl following him around). With the teams even they all fight but the blackout ends and the barrier containing Eva comes back up and she loses all of her powers and falls towards the river only to be saved by Negi who promises he’ll break the curse on Eva when he becomes a full mage (how does he know about the curse I mean it’s not like she told him or anything. *Crazy laugh* why the fuck am I still watching this). We also see Takamichi hiding behind a corner watching them (screw-up:39. Again, WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL WATCHING THIS).
In episode 9 Negi goes to deliver something to the school shrine but gets lost (screw-up:40. Betrayal)and is found by the twins Fuka and Fumika who are part of the scrolling club. They decide to give him a tour around the whole school where he sees the many clubs his students are in (swimming, basketball, cheerleading, robotics, horse-back riding you know all the clubs you wanted to have in school but your school was too lazy or cheap to finance them. Screw-up:41. I’m about to cry). They eventually reach the shrine after a few shenanigans and they end the day by climbing up the World Tree (a famous landmark that will play a big role in the manga) and the girls give Negi a kiss (out of all the things in this fucking episode this is the one thing they got right. Congratulations anime you’ve earned yourself a middle finger salute). They also set him up for a prank since he treated them like kids.
In episode 10 a dodgeball game happens between Negi’s class and some high school girls where the winning them will get to have Negi as their homeroom teacher (I swear to God this kid is gonna grow-up to be a pimp someday). The game begins and while Negi’s class may have the numbers it puts them at a huge disadvantage and they begin to fall like flies. Luckily Nodoka uses her knowledge of dodgeball to find loopholes in the game that allows the team to come back and win (screw-up:42. There are a lot of things wrong with this episode but out of kindness of my heart I’m counting all the mistakes as one).
Episode 11-13
In episode 11 we get a whole mess of screw ups in this episode but once again out of the kindness of my heart I’m going to count it as only one screw-up, also is it normal to have a knot on the back of your neck (screw-up:43)? In this episode Negi gets a computer but nobody really knows how to use it (oh come on, it’s 2005 everyone knows how to work a computer, get with the time folks). We then cut to a student named Chisame who is probably the sanest but at the same time most insane student in the class. She’s an unsocial person in class who can’t stand her classmates and wants nothing to do with them because she sees them as freaks and idiots. She makes the excuse that she has a stomachache and leaves (what a weak excuse, if I said that in school they would have given me a sprite and sent me back to class). She goes back to her room where we see that she’s actually an internet idol named Chiu who has her own website with legions of men following her (NEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS~). She uses her website to post lies about her classmates and teachers (oh look a troll who doesn’t know any better) and post ecchi pictures of herself (and to think this is a middle school girl. Well, somebodies probably whacking it). The next day the class decides to make their own homepage but are unsure what to make it about (how about a site that hosts a bunch of people reviewing stuff such as movies, video games, and other stuff from our childhood and then making videos and blogs about it? No that would just be ridiculous who the hell would wanna see that). They decide to make a homepage based off Chiu’s page that garners enough hits and becomes the 2nd most popular page next to Chiu (so you guys just spend your time going to websites that feature middle school girls and just ogle at them? Man, Japan’s internet really was just use for porn until Hatsune Miku came along wasn’t it). So they have a cosplay battle to get views and in the end the class wins (variety, variety, variety). The school eventually shuts the page down because they’re pretty much selling soft-core porn and they have a party. Negi goes to Chisame’s house and sees her dress as Chiu but doesn’t make the connection and drags her to the party where Yue covers for Chisame and they all take one last group picture before the site closes.
Episodes 12 and 13 are 2 parts of a story in the manga. Finals are coming and everyone is studying hard except for Negi’s class which is bad because Negi finds out if it class comes in last place he’ll be removed from the school. Negi tries to cast a spell that’ll make the students smarter but Asuna stops him and tells him to stop relying on magic so much to solve his problems (this is like one of the few times he’s used magic in this anime ya dumb broad! Hell, in the manga this is like the third or fourth time he’s relied on magic to solve his problems at this point and all the times he used magic has been to help your ass! Steady Nitsuj, save it for the side blog your almost done). Taking Asuna’s words to heart like the easily influenced kid he is Negi decides to seal his magic for 3 days so he can help his students as a regular teacher. Later on Eva tells Asuna that Negi will leave if the class fails (screw-up:44) and she overhears a conversation between Yue, Makie, and Ku-fei that there’s a magic book that’ll make you smarter located in the school library at a place called Library Island (it’s a magic school I’m not gonna question it and right now I’m busy suppressing my rampage within me to care). So the Baka Rangers and Negi go into the library (at night woah~) and explore the Legend of Zelda like dungeon that is known as Mahora’s Library while Konoka, Nodoka, and Haruna guide them from outside the building (screw-up:45). Negi keeps triggering traps (screw-up:46) but luckily the Baka Rangers are there to save him (go go go Baka Rangers~, go go go Baka Rangers~, go go go Baka Rangers~, mighty morphin Baka Rangers~). They make their way down and eventually come to the vault where the magic book is and make a dash for it (https://youtu.be/yxV5uFjMRiI). They fall onto a puzzle where a golem forces them to play a game of twister and translate English words into Japanese (it just like regular except you’re learning something). They get to the final question which is dish but instead spell monkey. They fall down a pit and awake at a place called the Deep Library. Negi assures them they’ll be able to escape in 3 days so they make the most of the situation and begin to study. While this is going on the twins tell everyone that Negi will be fired if the class fails (screw-up:47) and Nodoka makes the suggestion that they should believe in Negi and study (nothing less from Hayao Miyazaki’s anime relative. No I’m serious, her last name is Miyazaki).
So they all begin to study but they all eventually fall asleep from studying non-stop (screw-up:48) and when they awake the golem shows up and attacks them. They escape, grab the magic book and head towards the elevator up the spiral staircase (funny, seeing as how they said in a scene earlier there was no way out). They reach the elevator but they’re too heavy so Negi gets out and faces the golem himself (https://youtu.be/SNQj_MnLsdw) but Asuna pulls him back in, throws out the book and escapes. They arrive back at the school to take their exams after Negi secretly cast a spell to restore their energy. The test results are announced and the class comes in last place. Broken and sad Negi packs his stuff and is about to leave but the Baka Rangers, Konoka, and Haruna show up and beg him to stay. The principal shows up to tell them that their final class score was inaccurate because the Baka Rangers took the test late (what are the odds). With their scores added to the rest of the class they move from last place to 2nd place (screw-up:49) which means Negi gets to stay and he is now not only recognized as a teacher of the school but also receives his wizard license (and he won a brand new car~)
Alright, we’re at the halfway point of this anime, where are we at on the counter? Let’s see 49 and we’re not even in the bad parts yet. Argh, we’re not even at the worst part yet ohhh~ *facepalm*. I’m sorry; I can’t do this in one sitting. I’m gonna hold off on the final score for now, go back and point out all the screw-ups this anime has made thus far. But first, I’m gonna go buy a nice crowbar and relieve some much needed stress. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.
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