Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. When you look back at 2013 you’ll see that we got a lot of big, creative, and interesting animes throughout the year. Probably one of the best years of anime I’ve seen. But with everything great that came out of 2013 we have a few animes that just sucked even though they sounded so creative and interesting. One of the animes that unfortunately fell into this category is Diabolik Lovers. Diabolik Lovers is a visual novel created by the company Rejet. It was released in 2012 on the Playstation Portable with a fan disc and a limited edition version coming out in 2013 with a third game coming out sometime in 2014. The game has you play as a female making this the first visual novel I’ve seen directed at females where you play as a girl who has to live in a house with 6 vampire boys and your goal is to develop a romantic relationship with one of them. What makes the game interesting is the replay value you get out of it. Each character has 3 possible endings so that means you get 18 endings total. Perfect for you ladies out there that liked the Chrono games and the many possible endings the series had. Seeing how popular the game was and wanting to help promote the release of the limited edition version of the game, the anime studio Zexcs (Omamori Himari) decided to create an anime based off the game. What we get is anime that has no idea what to do with the characters or the premise it was given giving us one of the worst animes of 2013. Let’s sink our teeth into this bad anime and take a look at Diabolik Lovers.
Opening and Ending
The opening for this anime is “Mr. Sadistic Night” sung by Hikaru Midorikawa and Kousuke Toriumi. While I’m not a fan of the song it does fit the overall premise of the anime very well. It’s very dark, sadistic, erotic, and evil sounding telling us that we’re about to venture into a world of dark love. The ending for this anime is “nightmare” by Yuki Hayashi. Once again I’m not a fan of this ending but it does match up with the series well. There are no lyrics, it’s just music with a violin in the center of it all playing a daunting horror melody that builds up the horror of what you just saw until the song comes to a silent end.
Episodes 1-4
So we start the anime off with our female lead Yui voiced by up and coming newcomer Rie Suegara (wow a new up and coming voice actor. I’ll have to pay close to attention to her in this anime) being dropped off at the house where she’ll be living with the Sakamaki brothers who will no doubt rape her in her sleep (I know it’s early to be thinking along those lines but we have an adolescent girl living in a house with 6 adolescent boys unsupervised there’s only one possible ending to this scenario). She enters the house where she’s about to get raped by one of the brothers (see? Called it) until another brother shows up to stop him. Confused by Yui being in the house (dude trust me, when there’s a cute girl of legal age in your house you don’t ask questions you just embrace the possibilities) he gathers everyone and finds out that she’s their potential bride sent from the church (so she’s a blessing from God) and that she’s not to be killed (so this has happened before in the past? That’s reassuring). We get a quick introduction to our vampire harem. First up is Shu the oldest voiced by Kousuke Toriumi (Kiba from the Naruto series), Reiji the second oldest voiced by Katsuyuki Konishi (Kamina from Gurren Lagann), Ayato the middle child who tried to rape Yui voiced by Hikaru Midorikawa (Seto Kiba from Yu-Gi-Oh), Kanato the creepy looking brother voiced by Yuuki Kaji (Alibaba from Magi. Good Lord, 2013 was his year. Four starring roles on shows that were airing at roughly the same time one after another. This guy really earns his pay checks), Raito the fashionable one voiced by Daisuke Hirakawa (Yuuto from Omamori Himari), and finally Subaru (a person not the car) voiced by Takashi Kondo (Akuto from Demon King Daimao). And what’s the 2 things these guys all have in common? Well, what do you think ladies *stares at Isis, Shizuku, Mira, and Yin-Yang screaming like fangirls at a Justin Bieber concert* that’s right, they are hot but they are also rude and mean assholes (must you girls always go for the bad ones). After introducing themselves Yui finally figures out that they’re all vampires (really? The attempted rape, them licking your neck, being told not to kill you, and their hatred for everything that is the Twilight series didn’t tip you off) and tries to scare them off with a cross necklace but Reiji tells her that things such as crosses, garlic, and sunlight have no effect on vampires (YA LIED TO ME WORLD! YA LIED TO ME~) this scares her and she runs out of the room hoping to escape the mansion with the boys scary her along the way (seriously, is this really what turns you girls on? Because if so than girls really are crazy). She eventually winds up in a sealed room where she finds a dairy that once belonged to her father saying that her father isn’t really her father (ohh~ the night just keeps getting better and better for her doesn’t it? I suppose she’ll be getting raped next). The guys come in with Ayato, Raito, and Kanato holding Yui down, taking turns licking her neck (I’m sure somebody out there is getting off on this), and we end with Ayato about to bite her neck and turn her into a vampire.
In episode 2 Yui wakes up in a bedroom wearing a nightgown and her neck having no bite marks. She’s greeted by Ayato, Raito, and Reiji who tells her to get dressed and ready to go to night school (it’s like regular school only more depressing because it’s at night). She gets put in the same class as Ayato and Kanato (oh God the creepy child again. I forgot to mention he carries a teddy bear around with him and talks to it like a normal person, the creepy factor on this one just keeps going up every time I see him. I swear these guys are like the dark gothic version of the boys from Ouran High Host Club. Shu is Mori, Kanato is Honey, Reiji is Kou, Raito is one of the Hatachin Brothers, and Ayato is Tameki because he’s a narcissist who refers to himself as “Yours truly” and Subaru is the other Hatachin Brothers). Seeing that their first class is home economics Ayato forces Yui to skip class and make him some takoyaki (Ayato: So does bitch wanna make me some takoyaki? (Yui): I rather not. (Ayato): Does bitch want me to suck out her blood? (Yui): Takoyaki it is). After eating, Ayato can’t hold himself back any longer and attacks Yui biting her neck and sucking out her blood (alright I’m sure in the vampire realm this is the equivalent to surprise butt sex but can you at least try to charm your way into her first? //youtu.be/4fYfdlKIon4, and oddly enough, playing this song isn’t helping). So he drinks her blood causing her to pass out (lightweight) and admits that it’s the best blood he’s ever tasted (Ayato: OH MY GOD~! THIS IS THE GREATEST BLOOD I’VE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE). After Reiji walks in on them disgusted at Ayato’s act on school property (I could over look this if you two were having sex but sucking her blood? You’ve gone too far man), Ayato takes her back home where she wakes up near the pool and gets thrown into the pool by him where she begins to drown because she can’t swim (you know as far as female leads go you’re pretty weak Yui). At first Ayato does nothing but after remembering how he too was once drowning and cried out to his mother for help all she did was walk way and leave him (bitch! No wonder he’s a son of a bitch he has a bitch for a mom). He dives in and saves her but not before kissing her on the lips and sucking out her blood again (you guys are still underwater, now is not the time. Also, shouldn’t she be a vampire now that she’s been bit like twice already). We end the episode with her sneaking back into the room where she found her foster father’s dairy where she finds said dairy only to see that all the pages are blank (he must have been using Acme disappearing-reappearing-disappearing ink).
Moving on to episode 3 we focus on Shu this time around. Not a whole lot happens in this episode. After an awkward dinner between Yui and the brothers (in which they don’t even talk to each other) we see that the others think of Shu as a deadbeat who does nothing with his life (I don’t see you guys doing anything of value so in my opinion you’re all in the same boat as him). After dinner Yui decides to take a bath only to find Shu already in the bathtub (Shizuku: YES! (Nitsuj): He still has his clothes on you know. (Shizuku): DAMN IT). In the bath Shu reveals that they all have different mothers, Shu and Reiji come from the same mom; Ayato, Raito, and Kanato are from another mom; and Subaru from the last mother (so it’s safe to assume their father is a man whore). He decides to suck some of Yui’s blood much to Yui’s disappointment and shock since she thought he was different from the others (where would you get that idea? Sure he doesn’t take an active interest in you like Ayato and Kaito but that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in you. From my perspective Reiji seems to be the most civilized and nicest of the brothers so far). After getting her blood sucked again (I’m surprised she hasn’t passed about from blood lost yet) she steps out of the bath where Ayato is waiting to suck more of her delicious blood (your blood is my drug baby) but he sees the fang marks left by Shu and gets pissed (u mad bro). He goes to confront Shu and challenges him to a game of darts where the winner gets Yui as the prize. At the end Shu beats Ayato (now who’s the deadbeat) and grabs Yui to remind her that to him all mortals are just food for him and nothing else.
In episode 4 we get another episode where not a lot happens this time with Raito who decides to torment Yui throughout the episode. The episode starts in night school (urgh) with Yui trying to contact her father but Kanato comes out of nowhere and orders her to bring him something to drink (get it yourself ya crazy spoiled sadistic vampire). She brings him back coffee which doesn’t make him happy because he hates bitter tasting things and prefers sweets (okay its official this guy is Honey from Ouran High Host Club). He smacks the coffee out of her hands which burns her and he apologizes for it (kinda switching the yandering switch on and off eh Kanato) but he punishes her by putting her bag on the roof. She gets her bag back but runs into Raito who decides to play with her throughout the episode by tormenting her and telling her that there is no God and that she was sent to their home as a sacrifice (I swear each one is a bigger asshole than the last one). The episode reaches its climax at the end with the two in a an abandoned church with Raito in bliss at Yui’s face of despair that he decides that he’s going to do more than suck her blood (what more can these guys do to her they’ve pretty much broken her). He’s going to have sex with her in the church right on top of the alter (have they no shame or decency? And would you fight back already Yui).
Episodes 5-8
In episode 5 Yui goes with Kanato to visit the grave of his dead mother who he says he killed (I’m not surprise). It’s here that we see Kanato swing between creepy child and even creepier child as he just snaps at Yui just because she wanted to leave the graveyard (crazy much Kanato) so he forces his will on her and begins sucking her blood but I give him some credit unlike the others who just sucked her blood he at least gave her a kiss and tried to make her feel good (this changes nothing about how I feel about this character). She goes back to the mansion where’s she about to return to her room until she hears Reiji moaning in the room next door (and he bad mouths Ayato for sucking Yui’s blood at school. Check yourself first Reiji). It turns out he was having a bad dream in his laboratory (Reiji: Tell Shu and the others to stay out of my laboratory). At first he seems gentle (well gentle as any of the guys can get around here) and serves Yui some drugged tea that causes her great pain. Reiji gives her an antidote but becomes overcome by her blood and wants to have a taste of it (and there goes my last hope at one of these vampires being decent) all while remembering the death of his mother which it seems that he’s responsible for doing (okay, I see what gets you off at night).
We start off episode 6 with Yui hanging out with Kanato again (really, after what the guy did to you last episode you’re still hanging out with that crazy child? Man, the loss of blood must really be taking effect on your mental thinking). He takes her to a room filled with manikins wearing wedding dresses (ohh~, someone interpret this. Actually I think I know what all of this means, it represents all the girls who married Edward from Twilight and became just as lifeless and emotionless as him until they died. Bella, you’re next). Kanato begins to joke about turning Yui into one of the manikins so she can stay beautiful and begins strangling her (I would say this escalated quickly but please remember we are dealing with a lunatic child). Ayato comes in to stop him (hey Ayato, haven’t seen you in a while how you been? I thought you were dead. Well not dead but dead-dead you know what I mean) and in a shocking twist doesn’t suck out any of Yui’s blood or make fun of her (who are you and what have done with the narcissistic douchebag known as Ayato). As she’s walking back to her room she runs into Subaru who tells her that if she stays in the house she’ll die (wasn’t that obvious from the get-go Subaru? Tell her something she doesn’t know Captain Obvious) and if she wants to escape now is the best time to do it (I assume it’s because there’s about to be a new moon). But she decides to stay because she wants to know the truth as to why she’s here (//youtu.be/MMzd40i8TfA). She asks Subaru about her father seeing if he knows anything and he says no but he does give her a silver knife to use in case she wants to kill one of them (ironic, the one who wants nothing to do with the girl is the one protecting and concerned about her the most). After that we end with her running into Kaito who makes fun of her religion with Yui saying she’ll continue to believe which shocks Raito and he becomes more interested in her.
Something interesting finally happens in episode 7 (I know, crazy right). Yui wakes up in the middle of a storm at night where she spots a blue-haired Milf in the mansion’s garden (or a Vilf as I like to call her) who we find out later is actually the mother of Ayato, Kaito, and Kanato. Using her vampire powers she somehow sends Yui into the past when the boys were just kids (I did not know vampires could do that). If you can believe it the boys actually acted like boys, they got along with each other, played together, were compassionate, and even laughed and smiled (what the hell happen to them to turn them into such assholes). However not all was joyous in this childhood, we saw that the mothers of the boys were very competitive with each other and wanted their eldest son to inherit the family fortune (it always come down to money). Because of this and Shu and Ayato were pressured by their moms to study constantly and not have fun which resulted in their mothers not paying any attention to their other children, in fact, Ayato’s mom actually threatens to disown Ayato and throw him at the bottom of a lake to drown if he fails (well, I see where the boys got their charm and manners from). As for Subaru’s mom for some reason she’s locked him up in a tower unable to leave (well I’m sure this will never be explained). After seeing all of this Yui wakes up in the water tunnels below the mansion not sure how she got there. Ayato and Raito find her and they both decide to suck on some of her blood at the same time (woah vampire 3-way, Bella’s fantasy right there folks).
In episode 8 we see what happened to Ayato, Raito, and Kanato’s mother Cordelia. It turns out the boys killed her in a rather bizarre series of events. Ayato tried to straight up kill her but thanks to Raito she was able to escape him. Raito then pushes his mom out the window onto a bed of roses killing her since he seems to have some kind of crush on his mom and wants to keep her love to himself (disgusting). Kanato sees the corpse of his dead mother and an attempt to warm up her cold body he lights it on fire (sweet Lord you guys are fucked up beyond belief. I know she must have been a terrible person but to actually toy with her like that and destroy her dead body, that’s the thinking of crazed murderer). After finding out about this Yui runs in the garden not believing what she just heard (why is she even surprised by this it’s obvious that the boys are fucked up so nothing they do should surprise her anymore). She runs into Subaru who threatens to kill her if she approaches him again but then hugs her and finally sucks her blood (bipolar much Subaru). We also find out that the reason Subaru gave Yui that silver knife is because he wants her to kill him if the time comes or use it to kill herself if things become too unbearable for her (I’m pretty sure she’s approaching the latter end of this sentence).
Episodes 9-12
Oh my God something of actual interest happens in episode 9 (about bloody time). Yui begins to feel strange and keeps having weird dreams while hearing the voice of a woman she doesn’t even know. In order to get help she goes to Shu of all people (why I have no idea, he’s been pretty absent this whole series might as well make use of him) who tastes her blood and says that it’s changed (what, is it B- now instead of AB). He tells her that this is all a part of the approaching awakening which I have no idea what the hell he’s talking and neither do they make an attempt to explain it to us. His uncle Richter than comes in who hypnotizes Yui and leads her into a secret room in the mansion (goddamn even the uncle wants her. Is the girl some kind of vampire magnet or something) where we see the dress of the dead Cordelia who Richter seem to had an obsessive crush over. Yui touches the dress and her mind gets absorbed by Cordelia (who is the actual voice she’s been hearing this whole time) allowing Cordelia to have complete control of Yui’s body.
In episode 10 we see how Cordelia is still alive despite being burned to death by her son. Before Kanato came to as he puts it warm her up Richter showed up and removed her heart and put it into a new body which I assume was Yui’s how else does that explain why she’s in Yui’s body unless the creator of the show is just bullshitting us and pulling all of this out of his ass. Ayato goes to confront Cordelia (or as I like to call her Yudelia) where he pushes her into the lake because Yui can’t swim (O_O I can’t believe this actually came back to help us). This somehow gets Yui back in control of her body and instead of Ayato telling her what’s going on and that her body has been possessed by his Vilf mom he just sucks her blood (tell her what’s going on you assclown). Ayato notices the change in her blood and can’t stop sucking on it (oh God her blood contains aphrodisiacs). Kanato and Raito show up saying they were drawn to the scent of her blood and want a taste of it as well (hey vampire blood-sucking orgy, I’m sure this is another one of Bella’s sexual fantasies. A fantasy of mine too minus the blood-sucking, female vampires instead of male vampires, and with less symbolism and more sexy time) but Yui runs away and Ayato stands between them and her. She goes to her room and grabs the knife where Subaru comes out of nowhere (so you just hangout in her room all day Subaru hoping to I don’t know possibly rape her) and sucks her blood where he too notices the changes in her blood and can’t get enough of it (oh God will one of you assholes just sleep with her already and get it over with). He disappears and Richter shows up to tell her that the awakening is beginning and the power of her blood is at it’s peak meaning the boys can’t resist her blood anymore and will pretty much do anything to have some. Even going through each other to get it. We end the episode with Cordelia regaining control over Yui and changing her eye color from ruby red to lime green (hey we can get a game of red light green light going on here).
Moving on to episode 11 Reiji confronts Cordelia where she says she’s going to kill their father to prove she’s the one who loves him the most (I don’t have a witty retort for this, it’s just stupid). She also puts the moves on Reiji because he has the eyes of his father and kisses him (okay I’m pretty sure this is incest I just don’t know how). But Reiji doesn’t fall for her seduction simply saying he’s not in to corrupt loose women (in other words he called her a slut). The rest of the boys show up and Cordelia tells Richter to kill them but he refuses saying he doesn’t have to do what she says because she’s not at full power and decides to have a taste of her blood but Ayato shows up and decides to fight him in a lame but thankfully short sword fight where he gets stabbed in the shoulder (all bark and no bite in that boy). Yui regains control of her body (red light), gets away from Richter and takes Subaru’s silver knife and stabs herself in the heart to stop the fighting. Shocked by all of this Richter tries to grab her but Ayato stabs him in the heart with the sword killing him (was the sword made out of silver? They kept the only thing that could kill them lying around the house? How stupid can they be). Ayato grabs Yui and Cordelia regains control of the body (green light) telling him that no one can stop the awakening and when it comes Yui’s body and soul will belong to her. After that she faints.
In the final episode the awakening is fast at hand and if you can believe it the boys are actually worried about Yui and don’t want her to die (no! You guys have treated her like crap this whole season, you do not get the chance to redeem your characters). Reiji makes a cure that he says will kill Cordelia but he needs something that belongs to her in order to finish the cure. Luckily, Kanato keeps a bottle of Cordelia’s blood in his teddy bear (this kid has the most serious of issues). As that’s going on we see that Richter survived his fight with Ayato and makes his way up to Cordelia’s room where her dress is kept (he’s going to smell it and fap to it isn’t he) only to run into Raito who uses a green flame to light the room on fire, kill Richter, and locks the room up walking away like nothing happened (like a boss). Reiji is able to finish his cure, Ayato gives it to Yui and she’s saved (whoopie).
Final Thoughts
Well guys I’m not gonna lie this was a pretty bad anime. It started off showing such promise but just fell apart right after the first episode. Nothing happens throughout the series, most things don’t make sense or aren’t explain, the ending is rushed and pulled straight out of the ass and there’s zero to no character development on the part of the characters. Yui is just a weak character who never does anything, she doesn’t fight back against the boys or stand up to them she just submits to them. The voice actor Rie Suegara does a good job voicing her in that she captures that fear and kindness of the character but I just think this wasn’t the best character for her to debut with and I’m just afraid that in the future she’s gonna get stuck playing these kinds of characters. Hopefully not but you never know. The boys are all assholes that’s pretty much the one thing they have in common and they’re all stereotypes of harem characters who treat Yui like crap and even that 5 minute redemption of them at the end doesn’t help change their characters because not one of them showed any kind of kindness beside Subaru towards her. This anime is like a soap opera a terrible soap opera that you wonder how it got approved by the network. The animation and music are alright I like how it’s dark and matches the overall tone of the anime’s atmosphere but other than that this is a poorly done vampire anime that has poor characters and little to no story that goes nowhere and plotholes that leave you confused and unsure of what’s going on.
Final Score
Diabolik Lovers earns a 2/10. This a poorly done anime and one of the worst animes that came out of 2013. If you found some redeeming qualities in it good for you but for me this was an anime that disappointed me and failed to meet my expectations. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.
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