Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. Let’s talk about Japan’s public transportation system. The public transportation system is a huge asset to Japan. A majority of the citizens rely on it to get around. Students use it to get to school and people who live out in the country use to get to their jobs in the city. It’s no exaggeration that if the public transportation system were to shut down it would put the nation in a panic. Now let’s talk about anime. Anime has been known to take some crazy ideas (i.e. an anime about a human getting turned into a zombie and living with a vampire ninja, necromancer, and a magical garment girl) that may seem ridiculous but make them work in the end and give us a very good anime. But even knowing all of this you have to turn your head and wonder where did Rail Wars come from? An anime centered around the public transportation system? Definitely one of the stranger setups to an anime. Based off a light novel written by Takumi Toyoda in 2011 and continuing to this day Rail Wars takes place an alternate version of Japan where the national railroads were never privatized and in this universe we focus on a bunch of teens who join the Japanese National Railways (JNR) hoping for exciting and fulfilling careers. In 2014 the newly formed anime studio Passione turned the series into an anime making it the first anime they ever produced. Can this studio find a way to take this strange setup and make it work? Let’s all aboard the Crazy Train and take a look at Rail Wars.
Opening and Ending Theme
The opening is “Mukaikaze ni Uta Renagara” By Minori Chihara. At first I wasn’t a big fan of the song but as time went on it grew on me. The guitar and drums are amazing and epic. The rock music is great and the singer is epic as well. Truth be told this opening is way too good for this anime. The ending is “Overdriver” by ZAQ. It’s a techno rock song that a lot of people seemed to like but I found the song just decent. I always skipped over it and didn’t really care for it but I will admit the engrish is cute and funny.
Episodes 1-4
The anime opens up with our main character Naoto voiced by Jun Fukuyama (Maximillian from Valkyria Chronicles the animation) your everyday train otaku (these people exist in the world?) who gives us a backstory about the world of railroads (oh this should be informative *grabs a magazine*). In this world the railroads of Japan are all connected uniting Japan. Because of this many people (mostly train otakus) seek employment with the national railway and thus go to school to be trained in the ways of railroad protection and safety (man this must be a high paying and fulfilling job if you have to go to school for it). At the school Naoto quickly befriends 3 classmates, one being Sho an athletic guy with a big heart voiced by Satoshi Hino (Sai from the Naruto series). Next up is Aoi voiced by Manami Numakura (Hibiki from The Idolm@ster) the man-hater of the group (you were molested on a train weren’t you?) with impressive athleticism, strong sense of justice, and a good markswoman (Isis: I can tell she’s going to be my favorite character) and finally Haruka voiced by Maaya Uchida (Irinia from Highschool DxD) the smart one of the group with huge breast (hello obvious love interest). The whole class goes through a month of training and on their final day our four main characters are assigned to go on site and patrol the station. During their patrol they find two purse snatchers who escape to the next station but Naoto and Haruka combine their brains and figure out that there’s another train that can reach the next station long before the train the snatchers are on (man, who knew public transportation was the next best thing to CSI?). They arrive at the station and confront the purse snatchers where Sho and Aoi take them down with ease and arrest them. With this great triumph the group graduates from school with flying colors and are all assigned to Defense 4.
We start episode 2 by meeting Nana the leader of Defense 4 and a very pleasant lady. This group is part of the Public Security Force (or PSF for short), a tactical force responsible for responding to train threats, hijackings, bombs, or anything else that might threaten the safety of passengers (man, the train business ain’t no joke). While Naoto is bummed about joining them because he wanted to drive the trains not protect them (we all gotta start somewhere kid) he accepts this job and goes through with it. On his first day on the job the main force heads out on the Black Star (YAHOOO) to respond to a bomb threat in Yokohama leaving Defense 4 in charge of holding down the fort in Tokyo. Everyone is okay with this except for Aoi who hates security work and rather be out in the field fighting (you just wanna shoot molesters don’t you?). Aoi’s wish might come true as the bomb terrorist has actually targeted the Tokyo Station instead of the Yokohama station (oh~ they just got punk’d). The bomb terrorist demands 100 million yen (which in America is approximately: //youtu.be/l91ISfcuzDw, I couldn’t resist) by 3pm or he’ll detonate a bomb in the station killing everyone. Not wanting to panic the passengers the staff agrees to give into the demand of the terrorist but Naoto and his friends get permission to search the premise for the bomb. They find the bomb in the last place anyone would think to look, Lost and Found (not gonna lie that’s pretty clever) and have only 15 minutes to disarm it (and save on auto insurance). Aoi discovers the bomb in the bottom of a dog’s carriage bag (I can overlook the whole bombing thing but endangering the life of a dog for money, that’s just wrong) and disarms the bomb with liquid nitrogen that she got from the station’s café after leaving Naoto to hold the thing in place so it doesn’t go off. The main force returns, capturing the terrorist, and we end the episode with Naoto becoming the new deputy leader of the squad (he disarmed a bomb, caught a terrorist, got to cop a feel, and got promoted. I vote best First Day ever).
In episode 3 we meet a girl named Sesshou a friend of Naoto who obviously has a crush on him (comes with the territory of main character and to the anime’s credit she actually is a very attractive girl. If she were real I could see myself trying to date her) and plans on going into the service industry for the railway. She also has a strange habit of liking the sounds of trains (I hate to see her music library). In the episode Sesshou’s friend Kaori goes missing and she goes to Naoto and the group for help (you do know Japan has a police force. Doesn’t this seem more up their ally instead of public safety? I mean I know you like the guy but still). With little to no information and clues to go on about Kaori’s disappearance other than the fact that she was kidnapped in a train station while trying to record train sounds (okay, have I’ve been living under a rock my whole life? Is this really a thing? Do girls, cute girls mind you, go to train stations and just record the sounds of trains for their own amusement and I just don’t hear about it? Hang on, I gotta find out about this. *Nitsuj gets up and goes to the living room* Hey guys do- *Nitsuj pauses to see that the AI girls are busy constructing something*. (Mira): Yes? (Nitsuj): What are you guys doing? (Shizuku): What are you talking about? (Nitsuj): What are you guys building over there? (Isis): Oh this, we’re making our own PlayStation system that plays all Playstation games from PS1 to PS2 to PS3 to PS4 to PSP and Vita using different parts from past Playstation systems and parts we found online. We’re calling it the PS∞ (Nitsuj): Oh wow. . . I had no idea you guys were doing something like this in your spare time. (Yin-Yang): Yeah it’s kind of our side project something we all decided to make come to life. (Chibi Isis): Did you have a question for us Nii-chan? (Nitsuj): No. Nevermind. Sorry for disrupting your work. Hey when you guys finish this system let me know, I’m curious to test it out. (Seras): You’ll be the first one we call. *Nitsuj heads back upstairs and comes back to review the anime* Let’s continue). With this information they decide to check the record books hoping to find the station where Kaori disappeared but have no luck. A breakthrough in the case finally comes when one of the passengers finds Kaori’s cellphone and they search the phone’s latest soundtracks where they find out Kaori was kidnapped (I could of told you that from the beginning). Sesshou’s uses her amazing hearing to hear the sound of the train in the background and figures out that Kaori’s kidnapping took place at the Umi-Shibara station (man that girl has like Superman hearing powers). They search the area, find Kaori, and take out the kidnappers who were drug dealers all this time, apparently Kaori saw them making a deal and instead of just doing the smart thing and kill the girl they just knocked her out and kidnapped her (how was this a good plan again guys?).
Nothing much to say about episode 4. The group is assigned bodyguard duty to the popular idol named Noa who is doing a promotion for the JNR and a live concert on the beach (wow fanservice episode already. Talk about jumping the gun. In the past animes used to have the fanservice episode near the middle or end of the anime. Now they’re just showing it at the beginning. It’s as if the anime is afraid that it’s gonna lose their audience if they don’t show more boobs and ass). While traveling with her Noa receives an anonymous letter saying she’ll be killed at her next concert. Naoto thinks they should cancel the concert concerned for her safety but she refuses to let some crazy stalker scare her and stop her from singing (yeah, that’s the agency’s job). The day of the concert arrives where Noa is named the captain of the squad for the day and the crazy stalker comes on stage trying to kill her with a knife. Naoto takes a knife to the chest protecting Noa which allows Aoi to come from behind and take the stalker down with ease (in hindsight the stalker didn’t really think this plan through did he?). Everyone is worried about Naoto but it turns out he’s okay thanks to his protected vest and the stamp book he had in his pocket which was a gift from Noa. Noa sees and admires how Naoto works hard for others and those around him and begins to fall for him (and now Naoto can add pop idol to his harem list).
Episodes 5-8
Not a whole lot happens in episode 5 which is a shame because we focus on Naoto and Aoi who so far are the two best characters in this show. The group gets told that the bomber from a few episodes ago had an accomplice and that accomplice is on the run and in the area. Aoi, still not down with the whole passenger’s safety first thing that the PSF stretches wants to take this guy down so Nana gives her a gun and puts her in the hands of Naoto for the day (she’s setting them up. I knew she was on Team Naoi). Aoi thinks she spotted the bomber and begins to tail him for several trains with Naoto by her side (not the most romantic first date but still you never know what will happen). Eventually the bomber sees them and gets away from them in the mountains and since all the trains are done running they have no choice but to camp out at the station where Aoi talks about how her dad is a police officer and always wanted her to join the police force but for whatever reason choose to join the railroad system (again, she just wants to shoot train molesters). The next morning Aoi wearing nothing but Naoto’s shirt and no pants (well that’s some good fuel for the morning wood) sees the bomber again and the two pursue him where he drops his bomb on the railroads and destroys them to get away. To make matters worse a train is coming around the mountainside and if they don’t do something soon the train is gonna reach them and collapse off the mountain. Naoto sees the mountain fence and notices the wiring alerting trains to stop in case of a rockslide, he says that if they can shoot one of the wires it’ll set off the alarm and the train will stop. Naoto let’s Aoi take the shot but her right arm is injured from the bomb so she uses Naoto’s body as leverage to steady her arm and take the shot. She hits the wire and this sets off the alarm and the train stops just in time before running over. We end the episode with the bomber getting caught by the local PSF in the area and Aoi finally beginning to understand what the PSF is all about.
Not much happens again in episode 6. After the events in episode 5 the whole team has been confined to their homes (I can understand Naoto and Aoi but why the others they didn’t do anything wrong?). Naoto receives a letter which he believes is a threat letter sent by the accomplice of the second bomber (so the accomplice had an accomplice? Accompliception?). Naoto scared for his and Aoi’s life calls up Haruka who was at the gym running completely ignoring the confinement rules (screw the rules they are main characters) to meet up with her. He tells her what’s going on and they try to call Aoi who’s also out and about (so rules mean nothing to these guys?) but can’t reach her. Naoto and Haruka begin to feel like somebody’s chasing them when really it’s just Aoi who’s trying to catch them because she believes Naoto is doing something bad to Haruka (oh my God lady why would you think that? Come on you’ve spent like 5 episodes with the guy and he hasn’t done nothing. Even if he did it was probably on accident and plus I don’t think the guy has the guts to take the initiative). They get away from Aoi but fall into a pile of cat food so cats begin to chase them and they get the idea that the accomplice has trained cats to kill them (…uh…no…I…I…I can’t, it’s too stupid to make fun of). The cats keep attacking Haruka forcing her to strip (good job cats) and the two wind up in the old Transportation Museum (okay we get it the creator of this series likes trains). They walk around in the museum taking in the sights where Haruka starts to remember a little bit about her past with Naoto. When she was a child she came to this museum with her grandfather and somehow got stuck in a closet (uh explain how this happen please because I have a hard time believing someone as smart as her could get stuck in a closet). Luckily, Naoto was there to save her and since then developed a bit of a crush on him. She knew nothing about him, all she knew was his name and his unnatural love (or obsession) for trains. As the two are exploring the museum the Blues Brothers wearing Mexican wrestling masks (again too stupid to make fun of) attack the two and rip off Haruka’s shirt exposing her breast (do they not make a bra in your size or are you just trying to get Naoto’s attention?). Naoto decides to fight them himself to protect Haruka but before he can get a chance to shine Aoi and Hitomi (instructor and commander of the Tokyo Security Force’s mobile units and a friend of Nana) come in to take down the Blues Brothers themselves. We end with finding out that the letter Naoto receive wasn’t a threat letter but instead asking him to sign up for life insurance (fail).
In episode 7 Nana sends the group away for some advanced training in Karuizawa. Once they arrive we see that Sesshou is there as a maid as part of her school training where she shows Aoi and Haruka that she’s the girl who knows Naoto the best (the calm before the storm has arrived). While the group is there for training we see that Aoi is very excited about this because she thinks that the training will help her move up in the security branch and maybe just maybe be partners with Naoto down the road (man Naoto’s really catching all these girls and he’s really done nothing except talk about trains. How did he become popular?) but Naoto tells her that his goal is to become a driver which she gets upset about because she thinks Naoto doesn’t wanna be with her or the others (but mostly her). As he’s bathing in the hot springs he stays in too long and goes into a haze where we finally see why he’s so determined to be a driver so much. In the past when he was just a child he went to an abandoned train station to watch a train pass by and take a picture of it (geez kid you need to tone it down a level. Also, nice parental supervision parents) where he waited a long time and collapsed near the rail tracks out of hunger. The driver of the train saw him and drove him down to the nearest station to go to the hospital thus saving Naoto’s life. Because of this Naoto vowed that one day he too would become a driver as great as the one who saved him (touching story and all but it sounds like to me all he really wants to do is be a great and generous person like the driver and he can do that by working in train security. I’m not saying his desire to be a driver is a bad thing I’m just saying it seems like he’s more interested in being like the driver rather than being a driver). The next day the group does a train stimulator where they fail because Aoi still mad at Naoto refused to follow Naoto’s orders thus causing the train to crash and everything (okay Aoi that was a bitch move. I know you’re upset with him but still learn to separate your emotions from work. This is why co-workers shouldn’t develop feelings for each other). After that failure the instructor gives the group the next day off (why!? They did nothing to deserve it. If anything you should be having them do chores and drills to better their teamwork) to work on their team building skills. Sesshou invites them on a tour of the town and they all agree and later that night Aoi drops a letter off in Naoto’s door apologizing for her actions (tsundere at it’s finest). The next day Naoto receives a call from Nana asking him to go pick-up a very important guest at the town’s chapel alone. Naoto goes there and texts Aoi to meet him since she’s arriving late (had to look good for him) and misunderstandings ensue. First, Aoi thinks Naoto is planning something inviting her to a chapel and Haruka secretly follows Naoto and gets mad at him for being secretive and not telling her anything wanting to know why he invited Aoi to a chapel and not her (she gets a little yandere here, it’s pretty interesting). As the two demand to know what’s going on the idol Noa pops out revealing herself to be the important guest Naoto was supposed to meet in secret (oh shit) demanding to know why Aoi and Haruka are here (the storm has arrived).
The storm literally does arrive in episode 8 as a storm hits the area trapping Naoto in the chapel with his 3 harem members where tensions rise a little bit between Noa and Haruka (take it outside ladies). Sho and Sesshou arrive to give everyone drinks and Naoto and the others are called to help out at the station because the rain has caused a landslide in the mountains and has blocked the railroads. They arrive at the station and help get everyone inside and out of the rain where they find out that someone is transporting an organ to a hospital in Yokogawa for transplant surgery. If the organs aren’t delivered in 2 hours that’ll go bad and won’t be any good for the surgery (wow shit got real). Haruka offers to go on foot (in that skirt? Pbbt, you won’t last a minute out there lady) but Naoto says there’s a quicker way to reach the Maebashi station, the old railroad tracks. He says that if they use the old railroad tracks they should be able to descend from the mountain and reach Yokogawa in time (alright, what’s the catch?). The only problem is no one has used those tracks for years so there’s no telling what they’ll run into or even if the tracks are still functional (it’s a gamble where the odds are against them and time is not on their side. 10 bucks says they make it). The commanding officers support this plan and give the group a draisine a very old train that runs on electricity powered by 4 people who peddle bikes on the train and a D-equipment resister that should help them descend the mountain safely. They get off to a rough start at first (that being not able to get the train started) but they begin their journey down the mountain where they pick up too much speed and almost tip over but Aoi and Sho use their bodies to tilt the train and keep it on the tracks (only in anime will something like that be plausible). They survive the first few tunnels safely but things start to get hectic when they pass the station where the landslide happen and we end the episode with Naoto about to get a face full of Aoi’s boobs (lucky man. Earlier he got a face full of Haruka’s boobs so Naoto’s getting around this episode).
Episodes 9-12
The journey to Yokogawa continues in episode 9 as the group manages to get pass all of the tunnels safely thanks to Sho kicking the narrow wall and stopping the train from derailing (if this was real life he would have seriously injured himself. That train was moving well over 50kph). They even manage to slow the speed of the train down a little with the help of the EBT tracks but they start to wear out and thus speed increases again which is bad because the last obstacle is two S turns. Sensing the urgency Naoto hands the driving over to Sho and tilts the train with Aoi and Haruka to keep the train on the tracks. They finally reach the station but the breaks are broken (man nothing seems to be going their way this episode) and they can’t stop. Sho jumps off the back of the train and tries to stop it himself (again, he should be seriously injured. His legs or ankles for that matter should have snapped right there) but that doesn’t work so they have no choice but to jump off (Michael Bay that jump). They jump off safely and get the container to officials completing their mission (//youtu.be/6aPbvSyu-V0). This episode also gave us a lot of Naoto and Aoi moments. There’s a scene where Naoto saves her from falling off the train, Aoi comforts Naoto when he has a moment of doubt, and at the end of the episode Naoto tells Aoi that she looked cute in her dress and should wear them more often (I am so for this couple).
Episode 10 is a pretty predictable episode. The group is put in charge of guarding a foreign prince named BerNana on his way to Hokkaido (how the hell did they get put in charge of someone so important?). It turns out that BerNana and Haruka are old schoolmates and just like Naoto he too is a train otaku (not another one. Well at least this one’s cuter). As the group is boarding the train Aoi sees a mysterious man and chases him through the station missing her train with the others. While on the train we see that Sesshou is also on the train serving as a café cart worker (man this girl has a fun training regimen. Though I do find it strange that she’s training where ever Naoto is at) and BerNana is actually a reverse trap. Yep, it turns out BerNana is a girl (a cute boyish looking girl) with only a few people in the royal family knowing her true sex (it’s so confidential that not even Haruka knows. Well this will lead to a lot of fun situations in the future). She asks Naoto to keep this a secret and he agrees to do it (welcome to the harem your majesty). As Naoto, Sho and BerNana are getting a bite to eat in the café cart a huge black man wearing shades enters the room (oh man shit’s going down) coming for BerNana. Sho takes him on allowing Naoto to runaway with BerNana where another man wearing shades (what is Japan’s obsession with kidnappers wearing shades and suits?) appears with a stun gun and tazes Naoto 3 times before he goes down protecting BerNana. BerNana begs him to stop (no, let him be a man and put on a show) and just as all hope seems lost Aoi comes in (dynamic entrance) and delivers a knee to the face knocking the man in shades out (where did you come from?).
In episode 11 we find out that Aoi managed to reach them using a bullet train to reach a station before them and sneak on (impressive). With her help and Sho they manage to round up the men in shapes however their leader has Haruka and threatens to kill her unless they give him BerNana. They agree to go through with the switch with Naoto posing as BerNana and BerNana safely being taken care of by Nana who has arrived onto the scene. They go through with the trade with the man in shades realizing that Naoto’s a fake at the last minute (how do you get those two mixed up? One has blonde hair while the other has black hair. One is Japanese while the other is. . .what ethnicity is she again? European?). So yeah they knock the bad guys out and take control of the train however the control system is busted and the train is running out of control at top speed (don’t even think about jumping off this train you will break every bone in your body). Naoto tells them they have to detach the engine and jump off to the other train and they do this with Naoto and Aoi detaching the engine but during the firefight Aoi got injured and can’t jump. Not wanting to leave her behind Naoto stays with her and as the two are stuck on the crazy train they share a brief moment where it seems like Aoi is going to confess to Naoto until Hitomi shows up in the Black Star (fuck it), stops the runaway train (too lazy to even show us how they stopped it), and saves the two.
In the final episode Naoto and Nana are riding a diesel fueled rare train back to Tokyo after a business trip. While riding the train Naoto begins to notice something wrong with the engine. At first Nana doesn’t want Naoto or her to get involved but Naoto can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong so he calls Sesshou and Haruka to get their thoughts on the situation (Haruka: I think you should have sex with me. (Sesshou): I think you should have sex with me first). They both tell Naoto that something is definitely wrong and as he investigates the engine with the train’s conductor, Nana joins them and they figure out what’s wrong with the engine and fix it. But another problem occurs with the air conditioner so they fix that problem up easily and enjoy the rest of their train ride back to Tokyo in peace (trouble just seems to follow that boy where ever he goes). Once Naoto arrives he runs into Sesshou and Noa who are bringing groceries to his house for a party where everyone has gathered in his room to welcome him back (hey mom meet my future wives).
Final Thoughts
Yeah I don’t like this anime. Everything about this anime is lazy, bland, forgetful, and uninspiring. At the end of each episode I found myself asking what did I just watch and why did I watch it? The characters weren’t really all that enjoyable or interesting. Naoto is just a train otaku who rarely does anything but somehow gets all the girls to fall for him. He’s not all that interesting as a character and we never see him do anything that connects us to him so he’s really not a good lead. Haruka is the big-breasted smart girl always caring about others and Sho is the muscle. That’s their characters and nothing else. The only character I found somewhat redeemable is Aoi who does seem to be working through a lot of things in her mind and is the only character in the series who has any development. But even then she’s a forgetful and uninspiring character. The girls I admit are pretty but other than that there’s nothing more to them.
The animation is nothing special. Once again it looks lazy and uninteresting, the music is barely noticeable, and the stories are pretty predictable and cliché and we never get to see any good action or learn that much about the trains or railroads for that matter. It feels as if nobody knew what to do with this series and just went for broke hoping something good would come out. Unfortunately, nothing good came out of it. All we go was a very bad and lazy anime that went down as being one of the worst animes of 2014.
Final Score
The final score for Rail Wars is a 2/10. A disappointment as far as animes go. The only thing that stops it from being lower is that it had pretty girls and didn’t really do anything that pissed me off. This is one of those strange animes that Japan just couldn’t pull off and it’s best to skip it. It’s not worth your time. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.
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