Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. You know, I don’t review enough hentai on this show. Keep your pants on! You know my rules, I will not review hentai no matter how much you guys begs me. However, I will review an anime based off a hentai that’s why today I’m looking at Walkure Romanze. Often shorten to Walroma and when translated means Valkyrie Romance, Walkure Romanze is the second visual done by developer Ricotta the same people who gave us Princess Lover. Much like its predecessor it’s an adult visual novel that came for Windows in 2011. In the game you play as a young male student who goes to a school where jousting is the main sport of focus. At the school you meet a bunch of girls who are all jousters, take an interest in you, and depending on your choices effects you’re overall relationship with them. Just like the predecessor its heavy the text with you making choices here there. The only difference is the story, characters, and setting. While the game didn’t get as much praise and recognition as Princess Lover it was praised for its visuals and music. In 2013 the animation studio 8-Bit (IS and Grisaia no Kajitsu) decided to turn the game into an anime and aired it alongside their animes IS and Tokyo Ravens which were all being aired around the same time. This was a pretty risky move, airing multiple animes from the same studio at the same time is nothing new as some studios have done before in the past it’s just that when this happens there tends to be a lack of focus, resources, and power behind the anime and this anime is no stranger to these problems. Let’s dance with the Valkyries and take a look at Walkure Romanze.
Opening and Ending Theme
The opening for this anime is “UN-DELAYED” by Miyuki Hashimoto. I’m really not sure what to say about this opening it leaves me with nothing to say. It’s not a bad song on account of Miyuki sounds good but the song itself is rather bland and doesn’t leave much of an impact on you as other openings do. The ending is “MoonRise Romance” by Natsuko Asou. Unlike the opening this ending is quite cute and a joy to listen to. It has good singer, excellent song transitions, and the animation in the ending is nice to look at and goes with the flow of the song perfectly.
We start the anime appropriately enough with jousting in the town of Helen’s Hill (Helen: Get off my property) in the country of Europe or Japan (Europan? I don’t know, but’s a beautiful country). In this town jousting is popular and all the students at Winford Academy are excited and training for the big jousting tournament that’ll be coming this summer where all the favorites are beautiful girls (obviously who cares about men in anime). After being wowed by the amazing animation we cut to a horse named Sakura chasing one of our heroines Mio voiced by Ai Shimizu (Road from D.Gray-man) a somewhat ditsy girl who seems to have a thing for our male lead Takahiro voiced by Seiichirō Yamashita a former jouster who used to be quite good but due to an accident he stopped jousting and even though he’s healed from his wounds and seems fine with riding a horse he chooses not to joust (you better have some serious mental block or problem or you will be the biggest wimp I have seen). He saves Mio from Sakura who had a splitter which is why she went berserk and gives his jacket to Mio to cover herself since Sakura destroyed a little bit of her uniform (echhi horse for the win). They ride back to school where they come across Celia the student council president voiced by Kei Mizusawa who is one of the favorites to win and wants Takahiro to be her begleiter. In fact almost all the ladies participating in the summer tournament want to have him as a begleiter (and for other reasons I’m sure) an advisor in their world of jousting because he’s that damn good. He tells her he’s thinking about it and that he needs more time (no you don’t just join her). Later that night we see that Mio and Takahiro stay at a café run by the school nurse where they work part time with another one of their friends Akane another participant in the tournament who also who has a thing for Takahiro. She’s voiced by Hitomi Nabatame. Mio seeks the advice of her friends on how to get closer to Takahiro and they advise her to start by befriending his horse. She decides to take an alternate route and instead make him a lunch entirely carrot theme. She goes to deliver her lunch of love to him in the horse ben but he’s nowhere around so she decides to wait for him to come back and tries on his jousting helmet. While she’s doing this Sakura is eating her lunch (Sakura: Too many carrots. Needs more apples) and when she wants more she escapes her ben and begins to chase after Mio (Sakura: Sakura want more carrots. You will not stand between me and my orange delight. CARROTS). She chases her towards the school (man this girl is fast to be able to out run a horse) where she gets another jousting student named Bertille voiced by Ryoka Yuzuki (Satsuki from Kill La Kill) involved in the chase as well. After Sakura catches Bertille and rips her skirt off revealing Bertille’s sexy underwear (somebody was looking forward to a fun night) Mio decides to take control of the situation and calm Sakura down (I’ve had it with this motherfucking horse chasing me through this motherfucking school). Bertille accuses Mio of doing this on purpose to get her out of the tournament and challenges Mio to a jousting match under the false idea that Mio is a knight student just like her.
In episode 2 Takahiro becomes Mio’s trainer and begins training her in the world of jousting while also providing us some innuendo situations which leads to one of my favorite jokes (what did the five fingers say to the face? Scenes here: //youtu.be/U9TadqxR59Q, //youtu.be/gq1Cu0pHTDE, and //youtu.be/moiMxuqLUYY). The training starts with Takahiro trying to get Mio to properly hold a jousting lance (scene here: //youtu.be/7QD6X2ZekOU. Mira: Wow that lance is so big. (Isis): Yeah, and it’s so thick. (Shizuku): I don’t think I could handle that thing. (Yin-Yang): How is that girl not nervous? (Seras): A one of a kind spectacle. (Nitsuj): I’m sure this isn’t the first time she’s handle hard wood before. (Isis, Mira, Shizuku, Yin-Yang and Seras): PERVERT *smacks Nitsuj and leaves the room*. (Nitsuj): What! I was talking about the lance! Wasn’t that what you were talking about?). At first she keeps messing up (scene here: //youtu.be/YE2XfFH_gXA) but after a while she starts to get the hang of it and is able to properly hold the lance and joust with it and even starts to see the joy of jousting and becomes more and more interested in it. While she’s training another student named Noel (I’m guessing she was born around Christmas time) voiced by Eriko Nakamura (Haruka from The Idolm@ster) who’s also in the tournament and wants Takahiro to be her begleiter (man, this guy is in high demand, he must have been one hell of a jouster to have all these girls wanting him so badly) decides to help out in the training (scenes here: //youtu.be/Xok7-INZA8A and //youtu.be/z7yQ15j9erU). Throughout the episode they just train, Takahiro gets smacked multiple times for misunderstandings with girls, and we end with Mio getting her armor and getting ready to be trained to ride Sakura (scene here: //youtu.be/Y7TQX5ghsPQ).
In episode 3 the day of the match is finally upon us and Mio has made up her mind to win the match (well if you’re gonna do something might as well go for the gold instead of the silver metal). The night before the match Mio decides to cut her hair short saying that it was getting in the way and when she shows it to Takahiro the next day it takes him by surprise (not gonna lie she looks a little like a dude now). So the match begins with Mio winning the first round thanks to Takahiro’s clever thinking (also, Bertille’s outfit, camel toe city). Takahiro tells Mio to lose the second round to make it look like Mio won by luck (there is no such thing as luck in a sports game! Just smart/determined playing and a lot of dumb/lazy mistakes). Mio does this and they go into the third and final round where at first Mio gets hit due to her lack of experience and Bertille gains the lead by scoring a hit but Mio comes back landing a hit which causes Bertille to lose her lance and lose making Mio the winner (//youtu.be/RsZPrPfP3fA).
In episode 4 Mio hangs up her knight helmet (congratulations you’re the first knight I’ve seen gone undefeated in jousting) but she starts to get the itch (not that itch), the knight itch and seems to miss being a knight and struggles throughout the episode trying to decide what to do (oh for God’s sake just admit you like it and want to be a knight so we can advance the story). While Mio is having this (pointless and stupid) dilemma, Akane gets into an unsanctioned jousting match against a 1st year student named Lisa a transfer student who is said to be a prodigy and is one of the wild cards to win the tournament. She’s voiced by Hiroko Taguchi (Amane from Grisaia no Kajitsu). She also has an annoying friend named Fiona who shows no respect to her senpais and seems to lean towards the lesbian side since she doesn’t like being around Takahiro. This is probably due to Takahiro accidently grabbing Lisa’s small breast by accident in episode 2 but I still say Fiona’s a closet lesbian. The match between the two begins with Takahiro and Mio hearing the clash of their jousts in the distance and go to watch the match (I sense a disturbance in the jousting force). Lisa wins the first round but Akane comes back in the second round winning by using her new secret move double jousting (//youtu.be/7KnCy3zZvJM). As the two are about to prepare for the next round Noel shows up to tell them that the student council is heading their way and if Akane and Lisa are caught jousting in this unsanctioned match they’ll both be disqualified from the tournament (//youtu.be/6nSKkwzwdW4?t=3s). Takahiro acts quickly stealing Noel’s horse, picking up a broken joust and using the joust to break both of their joust and stop their dual while Mio watches from afar amazed at Takahiro’s coolness (she just jizzed her panties). The student council arrives and they manage to fool them, we end the episode with Mio telling everyone she wants to be a knight and participate in the tournament.
In episode 5 Mio goes to the student council to request to be in the summer tournament where Celia allows it (well that was easy let’s celebrate with some afternoon tea). Celia also invites Mio and her friends to have afternoon tea with her and Mio invites Takahiro, Akane, and Lisa (1 Jack and 4 Queens, not a bad hand). They go to the tea party where we see that Celia has a thing for teddy bears because they’re soft, round, fluffy, and strong (I can think of something else I like that fits this description). We also see that Akane can’t keep her composure and passes out because (I’m guessing here) she has some kind of lesbian crush on Celia or something (scene here: //youtu.be/gydLBH83Xzw). Yeah it’s kind of in the air, I’m not sure if it’s a lesbian crush or if Akane just has a great deal of respect for Celia that she gets nervous being around her that she can’t keep her composure and just faints drifting into a fantasy. At the tea party Celia asks Takahiro again if he’s decided on being her belgeiter and he says he still needs a little more because he’s torn between being a belgeiter or returning as a knight. After the tea party Noel invites Mio to come to her place with Takahiro (woah~, threesome). They go to her house where we see that Noel comes from a rich family and lives in a mansion on top of a big hill (someone landed on free parking in Monopoly. (Shizuku): It’s not a rule. (Nitsuj): It’s how I play). At the mansion we get to meet Noel’s cute little sister Mareille who’s in a wheelchair due to a jousting accident caused by Noel in the past but despite the accident Mareille still loves her sister and jousting and wants to see her sister win the summer tournament (such a sweet and caring sister). So they have tea, Mareille reads Takahiro’s fortune using tarot cards (Igor: That’s my stick little lady) and we get to meet Noel’s father who doesn’t like the idea of jousting due to the accident that happened with his youngest daughter (I feel a cliché coming in the following episodes).
In episode 6 the girls have a day off from training and decide to relax. We start the episode by learning a little more about Lisa (she likes to play the saxophone, she’s an environmentalist, vegetarian, and might have a thing for Milhouse. Oh sorry, wrong Lisa). It turns out that Lisa had a loving mother who was rich but when she died all of her relatives began arguing over who would get the fortune not even phased by the death of Lisa’s mother, Lisa closed off her heart and choose to keep everyone from a distance except for Fiona since she has family issues as well. After that Takahiro goes into town to run an errand where he runs into Noel and Mareille and has a big Italian lunch with them (courtesy of the Mario Bros.). Around this time we see that Mareille might have a crush on Takahiro as well as Noel (I smell a possible threesome in the future if Takahiro chooses Noel). He then runs into Akane who is relaxing in the town and eats rice cakes with her where she drops hints that she wants him to be is belgeiter (and we see that she also has a slight crush on him). After that he goes to the flower garden where he runs into Celia who gives him homemade cookies (man he’s getting a taste of the world isn’t he) where she explains that the reason she likes teddy bears so much is because they represent sportsmanship (uhhh~, come again). Yeah, she talks about President Teddy Roosevelt sparing a dying bear’s life because he felt it was unsportsmanlike to hunt something that was already at deaths door which is why the Teddy bear is named after him (I’m pretty sure this whole story is a lie but coming from the mouth of a beautiful lady like her makes it sound right in my book). Finally, he runs into Mio who is having tea with Bertille and her two stooges where they get attacked by rabbit-ear squirrels (so much for staying in reality. But then again we got an entire European town speaking fluent Japanese so yeah I’ll buy it. Scene here: //youtu.be/fwH8P5-3UEQ). He returns home to the café where Lisa and Fiona are eating tarts.
Episode 7 centers on Akane and Celia. A storm comes along while Akane is training and she takes cover in a windmill where Celia is also taking shelter from the storm and has removed her clothes to avoid getting a cold since her clothes are so wet (I’m sure this won’t backfire on her). Akane also takes her clothes off (okay, we are approaching lesbian territory, all we need is one more thing) to avoid caching a cold and Celia embraces her for warmth (and we are in lesbian territory, a Japanese girl and a European girl embracing each other naked in a windmill, this is starting to sound like an erotic novel someone of British decent would think up). When the storm lets up they decide to leave but their clothes get caught in one of the gears and fly out the windmill leaving them completely naked. They try to leave but a group of students come to sketch the windmill for an art assignment meaning walking out is out of the question (geez talk about being between a rock and hard place). As Takahiro is washing the horses by the river he sees their clothes floating (man those clothes got some distance and no the windmill wasn’t near the river, it’s up on a freaking hill) and follows the river to investigate it. He arrives at the windmill and finds the girls naked causing Akane to take her sword and shred his clothes to pieces leaving him in just his underwear (alright the anime is starting to live up to its reputation. Scene here: //youtu.be/Dm-6EccC948). Celia tells them she has a friend to go pick up so Akane and Takahiro work out a plan to get her out. Takahiro finds some hidden armor hidden in the floor and gives it to Celia to wear, he then spreads flour around the windmill causing a dust storm to blast open the door since he “accidently” locked himself in (I think he did it on purpose) which works and Akane calls for Shion her horse who just happened to follow Takahiro because. . .she somehow sensed her master was in danger, I don’t know I’ll just say the horse has spider senses. Celia rides off on Shion along with Akane leaving Takahiro behind (it’s a half-naked man nobodies gonna care) and she goes to pick up her friend which is just a stuffed teddy bear she had repaired at a shop (Celia you need more friends).
With the tournament only a week away in episode 8 Mio, Akane, Noel, and Lisa along with Bertille, her stooges, and Takahiro go on training camp at one of Bertille’s vacation houses (man this anime loves making the Europeans look rich, don’t they?). At the training camp Noel tries to get Takahiro to be her belgeiter for the tournament but like always he has no answer (will you just choose already man, this is getting ridiculous. Your presence in this anime has been pretty useless so far. I’m serious, the guy could almost be eliminated from this anime entirely and not a damn thing would change and he’s said to be the main character in the video game. How is that possible? How do you eliminate the main character in an anime?). Mio confronts Takahiro where we find out the reason he hasn’t chosen to become a knight or anyone’s belgeiter is because he’s afraid of failing them and not living up to their expectations (really? Really? This is the mental block that’s been holding you up this whole time? You’re afraid of failure and not living up to the expectations of others? Welcome to the human race! Look I know failure is a big fear in a lot of people but that’s a part of life it’s an avoidable obstacle. Every day you will fail in some way but who cares, failure is a part of being human it reminds you that you are human and makes you want to learn so you don’t make the same failure in the future. If we were perfect and never failed at anything than that pretty much would be the end of the human race because we’ve stopped learning. What I’m getting at is failure is what you make of it. After it happens, will you learn from it or just give up? As for the part of not living up to the expectations of others, just give it your best and you’ll never live down their expectations). Anyway, Mio tells Takahiro to stop over thinking everything and just do what he wants no matter what it is (thank you Mio. See, she gets it). That’s pretty much the episode, in the next episode the summer tournament draws near and to be honest I have no idea who’s gonna win nor can I predict the results of this tournament (this rarely happens).
It’s 2 days before the tournament in episode 9 and how are our knights spending these two days. Are they resting, training, forming strategies? No, they’re all entering the beauty pageant which happens the day before the tournament. Thanks to a lie told by Bertille the girls get the idea that Takahiro will become the begleiter of whoever wins the pageant so the main female cast goes out to buy sexy swimsuits and enters the contest in the hopes of winning and having Takahiro as their begleiter (and to have him for something else if you know what I mean, //youtu.be/rv9qs5WVHS8?t=30s). So as you would imagine all the girls look sexy in their bikinis (do Mio, do Akane, do Noel, threesome with Lisa and Fiona, who doesn’t wanna do Celia). In the end Celia wins the pageant (no surprise, student council president with grace, beauty, smarts, and a bewildering body) and Takahiro clears up the misunderstanding that Bertille started. There is one very funny scene I like in this episode, Takahiro gets forced to dress as the mascot for the pageant and follows Lisa’s cat into the girls changing room. When the girls come in he plays dead and doesn’t move a muscle while still in the mascot outfit. So because of this the girls begin to change right in front of him and a few of them even cuddle the mascot suit in their underwear because it feels so nice and Takahiro takes it all in without flinching. That is funny in my opinion, if it had been any other guy he would have lost it.
It’s time for the tournament in episode 10 (thank God) and all the girls want an answer from Takahiro on whose corner he’s going to in. But before he can answer a pregnant horse goes into labor (cock tease) and Takahiro has to go help out (oh hell no, he does not get the easy way out). Before he goes he gives all of them advice, he tells Noel to believe in herself and put all of her emotions into her jousting, tells Lisa to enjoy jousting and stop thinking about winning, tells Akane to stop relying on theory and wing it, tells Celia not to hold back in her matches, and tells Mio to give it her all and show everyone how much she’s grown (okay outside of Mio and Celia he gave good advice clearly he’s already shown who he favors. But still 3 out of 5 ain’t bad). So the girls go to their match where they each make it to the quarterfinals and we see that Akane and Lisa are facing each other (grudge match). They’re both tied at two points and Akane tries to hit Lisa with her double jousting but Lisa dodges both strikes and is about to hit Akane but Akane remembers Takahiro’s advice, dodges Lisa’s strike, and uses a third joust to hit Lisa and win the match (nice~, I was rooting for Akane, she’s scrappy). After the match Lisa goes to confront Fiona who I forgot to mention has pretty much turned into a total bitch these last 2 episodes because Lisa has befriended the others and Fiona can’t accept that so she pretty much distances herself from Lisa. The two have a chat and Lisa tells Fiona she wants to become her real friend and get stronger with her which makes Fiona cry out of happiness and the two make-up (truly this is the start of a lesbian romance. Thus their story is at an end).
In episode 11 we see that Akane has lost to Celia in the second quarterfinals and Bertille lost to Mio in the semifinals meaning Mio is in the finals (the bandit Mio has stolen the show). In the other semifinal match we have Noel vs Celia where Celia takes the first round but loses the second round because she accidently hit Noel in the head which is a major no-no in jousting so she loses the round. In the final round Celia and Noel tie at two points and are getting ready for the final joust (ohh this is so suspenseful, I gotta go to the rest room but ain’t leaving). Noel starts to doubt herself but her father shows up and begins cheering her on from the stands (Noel’s dad: I’m here for my 5 minutes of redemption to show that I’m actually a good person) and before we can see who wins the match we end with the pregnant horse successfully giving birth to her baby and the baby standing on all four for the first time (no! screw the horse! Who won the match I got money riding on this).
We open the final episode with Noel losing to Celia in the semifinals (Yes! Pay up ladies! *Isis, Shizuku, Seras, and Mira each take out a 10 dollar bill and give it to Nitsuj* That just leaves you and me little miss wolf. I start being scared if I was you. (Yin-Yang): Whatever, I’m still betting on the wild card in this anime. I’m sure Mio will pull through. (Nitsuj): Okay, but if she doesn’t, you know what will happen to you). While Noel is sad (as well as Noel fans I’m sure) by this there is an upside to all of this. Mareille can walk again and her father is proud of Noel and able to love jousting again. So as the school gets ready for the finals we find out that Takahiro finally stops being a pussy and grows a pair deciding that after the tournament he’s going to return to being a knight. Why, because thanks to everyone’s love of jousting he’s able to get over his dumb problems and re-ignite that love he had for jousting. Everyone is happy by this news and he also decides to be Mio’s belgeiter for the final round of the tournament (Yin-Yang: Yes, setup for obvious victory. In your face troll). Actually it’s kinda funny that Takahiro decided to be Mio’s belgeiter considering in a scene later he admits that he didn’t think Mio would get this far in the tournament (way to show faith in your childhood friend asshole). The match begins and we kinda just fast-forward through it (I say kinda because we see it all but it’s done rather quick with no dialogue or pauses) where we see that Celia has incorporated Akane’s double jousting into her jousting to get the edge over Mio but Mio uses her keen eyesight to dodge Celia’s attacks and score hits on her eventually tying the score (the suspense is killing me). It finally comes to an end when Celia hits Mio’s feather making her the automatic winner and for the third straight year winning the tournament proving that she is the best knight in the academy (Yin-Yang: NOOOOOO~! No! No! No! NOOOOOO~! Please master I beg of you, I’ll pay anything just don’t make me do it. (Nitsuj): A deals a deal Yin-Yang. You will do it, and you will do it next week when I review Outbreak Company. (Yin-Yang): *Runs out of the room* AHHHHHH~). We end the anime with the gang hosting a party for Celia at the café to celebrate her third consecutive victory and they all ask Takahiro who he would have chosen to be a belgeiter for if he didn’t have to help that pregnant horse (ohh~ good question. Who would he have chosen? In other words which girl did he want to do the horizontal bop with the most)? He plays it off and when the girls get distracted he runs off to avoid the question (a man never reveals his secrets) and that’s pretty much the end of the series.
So that was Walkure Romanze and yeah it’s not all that good. The animation is great as is the music but outside of that the anime really has nothing else to offer. The characters are flat as we really don’t learn that much about them, they have no development in the anime, and they come across as cliché characters. Takahiro barely has a purpose in this anime. He has no character or personality that allows him to stand on his own as a character. He could honestly be removed from this anime and almost nothing would change. Also, his dilemma was very stupid and made me dislike the character quite a bit. Mio is the cheerful childhood friend, Akane the tactical student, Lisa the emotionless one, and Noel the energetic one. The only character who I really liked and felt stood on her own as a character was Celia. She’s prestigious, smart, beautiful, and respected by everyone but she doesn’t let it go to her head. She’s humble, respects her opponents, and even has a cute side to her that makes her approachable. It really is a shame to see her character go to waste in an anime like this. The relationships that Takahiro has with all the girls is the same, he doesn’t approach each other differently from the other so it just feels like Takahiro is just basically talking to the same girl just with a different face. Say what you want about Princess Lover but give that anime credit Teppi and the other girls had personalities where they were able to stand on their own as characters that we could differentiate from each other and the anime gave us time to explore their characters, see them develop and change each other, and the anime allowed Teppi to have a unique relationship with each girl that showed us a different side of him. Storywise the anime follows the game. Big jousting tournament and each of the girls want to win and they need Takahiro’s help so there’s not much to say about it. Is it a strong story? No, but it had the potential to lead to some interesting setups and events.
As I said before the animation is great. The town of Helen’s Hill looks beautiful, like a painting or something out your imagination come to life. The developers obviously based the town off of various European cities and the animators did a good job capturing that beauty and grace you would expect to see in European cities. The jousting matches are also well animated and cool to watch. I’ve never really been into jousting but the anime does a good job explaining the rules and shows how hard and cool it is to joust. Music is good and inspired by European festivals. Once again these guys did their research on the European culture and did their best to make it feel like a European country while also adding in that Japanese feel to it. In the end Walkure Romanze’s fault lays in its uninteresting characters and not doing all that much with its story when it had the chance to do it. Also, surprisingly the show is pretty tamed on the ecchi sitautions. The most we get is in episode 2 and they’re all pretty safe. I know it’s strange to be complaining about it but when you hear an anime is based off an adult video game you expect there to be a few steaming scenes. IS and Grisia has more fanservice than this anime and those two are about mechs and a dark/crazy school life.
The final score for Walkure Romanze is a 4/10. This was an anime I was really hoping to rank higher on account of it is an enjoyable watch for a casual viewer. Easy to follow story, great animation, and a predictable yet decent story with some good jokes and mild fanservice. However the lack of character development and personalities really drags this anime down for me. If the anime would have done a better job at developing the characters, going more in-depth with them instead of making them so cliché I would of really like this anime more. Is it a bad anime? No, outside of its characters and story I say the anime has some good points. If you’re looking for a casual anime that focuses on the subject and don’t mind the predictable story and poor characters I say check this anime out. If you decide to skip it don’t feel too bad about it. It’s not an anime for everyone but it’s not a bad anime in my eyes. Just one that had a lot of potential but poor direction, time, and effort put into it. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a wolf to catch. *Picks up a tranquilizer gun* Yin-Yang~.
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