(Nitsuj): Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. I’m sorry, but I’m in the middle of an important duel right now.
*In a ring is Isis and standing across from her is Chibi Isis*
(Isis): You sure you want to do this Chibi? It’s not too late to back out.
(Chibi Isis): No. We’re doing this Nee-chan. It’s time I moved from your shadow.
(Isis): Well than. Let’s see if you have what it takes.
(Nitsuj) Combatants take your position.
*Isis and Chibi Isis take their spots. Isis pulls out her handguns while Chibi Isis prepares her wind magic*
(Nitsuj): Begin!
*Isis quickly goes on the offensive and begins shooting at Chibi Isis. Chibi Isis blocks the bullets with her wind magic and follows up with a wind slash attack. Isis absorbs the attack but her guns get knocked away. Chibi Isis rushes in with her dual swords and Isis counters with her dual rapiers. The two AIs parry each other and come to a standstill for a few seconds before they begin slashing away at each other. Sparks fly between the two AIs as neither one can land a hit until Chibi Isis finally plays her trump card. She activates the wind enhancement spells on her arms to increase her speed. Isis soon finds herself on the defensive and can barely keep up with Chibi Isis until it finally happens. Chibi Isis manages to break through Isis’s defenses and leaps up to deliver a dropkick to Isis. Chibi Isis activates the wind enhancement spells on her legs to give her dropkick more force. The dropkick sends Isis flying out of the ring and onto the ground by Nitsuj’s feet*
(Nitsuj): Winner, Chibi Isis!
(Chibi Isis): Yeah~!
(Nitsuj): As was bet on earlier, Chibi Isis will have her name changed. From this moment forward Chibi Isis will now be known as Chibi.
(Chibi): Yay~!
*Nitsuj helps Isis to her feet. Isis than goes to shake Chibi’s hand*
(Isis): Congratulations Chibi. I guess you really are strong enough to stand out on your own.
(Chibi): Told you. But don’t worry Nee-chan. No matter what happens you will always be my Nee-chan.
(Isis): And you will always be my chibi self.
*Isis and Chibi hug*
(Nitsuj): As much as I find this moving we have a review to get to.
(Chibi): Oh right.
(Isis): Sorry.
(Nitsuj): There is a man out there named Kazuma Kamachi who wrote a series you might have heard of, A Certain Magical Index. A popular sci-fi series that blends together science and magic and would become Kazuma’s most popular work. The series resulted in multiple novels being written, a number of spin-offs, and a popular anime based off the novel. Sadly, this was a series I never really got into. I watched a few episodes of the anime, but the series just never really stuck and even I find it strange as it had everything I would find interesting. I don’t hate the series and I don’t think it’s bad, I just never really got into it. However, he wrote another series that caught my attention, Heavy Object.
(Isis): Released in 2009, this was Kazuma’s second novel series. Unlike Magical Index this was a straight up mecha series that would take a look at war and the effects mechs have on it.
(Chibi): The series came out at the time when mecha anime was steadily trying to make a comeback and this series definitely caught readers’ attention. The series for the most part has been a hit having a lengthy light novel that continues to this day along with a number of manga spin-offs and adaptions.
(Nitsuj): In 2015 J.C Staff (DanMachi) turned the series into a 24-episode anime making it one of the longest animes of the fall season that year with CGI animation done by Sanzigen. During its runtime not too many people watched it but over the years it’s gained an underground following and we’re here to see if that following is deserved or being recognized for the wrong reasons. Hope you did your stretches. Let’s take a look at Heavy Object.
Opening and Ending Theme
(Isis): The first opening is “One More Chance!!” by All Off. It’s an okay opening in my opinion. Just like previous All Off songs it’s heavy on the guitar and drums which get you hyped and has some good and meaningful lyrics. While I think some of their other songs are better, I didn’t mind listening to this.
(Chibi): The first ending is “Dear Brave” by Kano. This was good. I liked the piano and Kano’s low and sweet voice really makes the song feel welcoming. While the song is good it did feel out of place a few times at the end of a few episodes.
Episodes 1-4
(Nitsuj): The anime starts in. . .the future (Chibi: How far into the future? (Nitsuj): The future) where despite advances in technology humans still go to war with one another (Isis: The more things change the more things remain the same). With the disbanding of the United Nations, every country soon started going to war with one another over land and sovereignty. The only thing that changed in war was the introduction of Objects, these heavy mechanized machines that were developed by an island nation (Isis: So. . .Japan? (Nitsuj): Obviously). Unlike most mechs which take on the form of a humanoid (like Gundams) or an animal (like Zoids) the Objects are designed to look like a giant ball packed with weapons and everything. This is both a good thing and lazy thing. It’s a good thing in that it separates itself from other mechs in the genre. Instead of copying the designs from say Gundam or Zoids it instead has its own look. Because Gundam and Zoids were such big hits, a lot of mecha anime out there copied their mech designs to the point where it’s hard to tell which mech belongs to which anime. Some mecha anime out there would design mechs that were different and you could differentiate them, but for the most part everyone kind of copied the designs of Gundam and Zoids. When you see a giant mechanized ball you know right away that it comes from Heavy Object and nowhere else. It’s a lazy thing in that it’s not a very creative design. It’s just a giant ball with wheels and guns on it (Chibi: That’s something a kid could think up. I should know because I thought this up back in 2015). Kamachi just did the obvious thing that everyone was too afraid to do because they didn’t want to look lazy. Anyway, we go to Alaska to meet our main characters Qwenthur aka Qwen voice by Natsuki Hanae (Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul) and his best friend Havia voiced by Kaito Ishikawa (Genos from One Punch Man). These two are soldiers who joined the military for different reasons. For Havia who comes from a noble family, he joined the military to earn fame and renown to earn his inheritance as head of his family. For Qwen, he’s fascinated by Objects and has dreams of one day becoming an engineer for them (now I’m sure you’re expecting a ball joke here, but I’m better than that. These guys on the other hand aren’t. (Corbin): So he finds Objects fascinating. I wonder if the parents know about his fascination with big metal balls? (Baron): I’m sure they noticed when he had that one birthday party which was all ball themed. (Isis): Alright that’s enough, we get the picture. (Corbin): You sure you want us to stop? We got plenty of material if you need it). The two are in the middle of shoveling snow but decide to skip out and go fishing and hunting. While fishing, Qwen gets approached by Milinda aka Mili aka The Princess voiced by Eri Suzuki the pilot of the Object, Baby Magnum. The two chat for a bit before Qwen and Havia get called in by their commanding officer Froylatia voiced by Shizuka Itō (Akeno from Highschool DxD) who is hands down my favorite character in this anime (Isis: And pretty much the main reason why you decided to watch this anime in the first place. (Nitsuj): Yep. Sounds right). She’s only 18 years-old and yet she’s one of the sexiest women I’ve seen in anime. She can be scary and commanding in one scene but sweet and caring in the next scene. She knows she’s attractive and uses her feminine charm to play with her men and drive them crazy. She’s tough, strong, smart, and demands that you respect her and not look down on her or take her for granted. After her introduction not much happens throughout the episode. Qwen has a funny moment with Mili where he accidently tightens her belt so it looks like some bondage play is happening and they have a BBQ with the moose Havia killed.
In episode 2 the base gets attacked by the Faith Organization and their Object, Water Strider, a second generation Object that looks like the bug under the same name (Chibi: Okay, there might be some variety in these mechs after all). Mili goes out to face it in Baby Magnum where she unfortunately loses and has to make an emergency ejection (while Baby Magnum is all-around better, it falls short against an Object that was specially designed to fight in winter environments). Despite the white flag going up, the Faith Organization begins attacking the base destroying all of their facilities (scene here: https://youtu.be/i9Fuhyk45dQ. (Isis): No survivors). Just when it seems like the soldiers are next, Mili activates her SOS signal to lure the Water Strider to her and give everyone else time to run away to safety. Qwen refuses to leave Mili behind and goes to rescue her alone after she was captured by enemy soldiers. Qwen saves her and just when it looks like a grenade is about to hit him (Chibi: Toss it back like a hot potato), he gets saved by Havia who couldn’t abandon his buddy. The Water Strider soon appears and chases after them where the three dive into a cave and escape out the other side to cover their escape. Knowing that Water Strider will go after the remaining troops trying to escape, our three heroes set out to do the impossible, find a weakness and defeat an Object (it may not sound like much, but in this world Objects are king. The days of who can kill the most people are gone, it all comes down to which side’s object is left standing in the end. They decide the fate of battle and up until this point the very thought of a normal person defeating an Object was next to impossible).
(Isis): So in episode 3 our heroes infiltrate the enemy’s base to sabotage the Water Strider (scene here: https://youtu.be/Xm7Do0Aw2lA). Qwen and Havia infiltrate the hangar of the Water Strider and does something to the turbines of the Strider before escaping. As they escape, they see Mili got captured again and send out a distress signal to Frolaytia begging her to send reinforcements to their location. Their message gets heard by the Faith Organization and the two get captured where they’ll be executed by the Water Strider (or you could be smart and just put a bullet in the back of their heads. There’s a time for flair and there’s a time for substance. This is the time for substance). When the Water Strider comes out to kill them, Qwen pushes a button which sets off bombs on the legs severely damaging the Object. Now normally when an Object gets severe damage a safeguard device is in place to keep enemies from seizing it. This device is a self-destruct sequence which is kept in check by a sensor which keeps the system in check and lets the Object know that there’s no need to self-destruct the damage is just minor (Nitsuj: Get to the point woman). However, if the sensor is removed and the Object gets damaged pretty badly the system starts to panic and the Object self-destructs to keep itself out of enemy hands (Chibi: You’re already blown up). Sure enough the Object blows up taking the base and a majority of the Faith Organization down with it (Nitsuj: In a very spectacular explosion. Seriously, the explosions in this anime are on point. Michael Bay wishes he could make explosions as beautiful as this). Frolaytia and her troops come in to capture the enemy base and save our heroes from the remains of the Faith Organization. Qwen and Havia get hailed as heroes and plan to resign from the military after receiving their badges but that doesn’t happen (Nitsuj: They had a plan but the higher ups had other plans for them). Instead, the two remain as soldiers and are put in a special unit with Mili and Frolaytia as their commander (Nitsuj: Lucky~).
Moving onto episode 4, Qwen and Havia are tasked with destroying an Object out in the middle of the sea codenamed Tri-Core. This Object belongs to the Intelligence Union and has been using it to drill up oil and sell it to terrorists (Corbin: Check out the ball on this crazy SOB. (Isis): We don’t need any more ball jokes. (Baron): Oh come on, we’re on a roll). Not only are they being asked to destroy the Object, but they have to recover the oil as well (Chibi: And why don’t we perform maintenance on the plane and pop the popcorn while we’re at it). They arrive on one of the sea rigs where the Tri-Core attacks them (Nitsuj: Abandon rig) and they’re forced out at sea where Qwen and Havia managed to sneak onto the Tri-Core. They plant explosives next to the oil containers and other vulnerable spots where they get discovered and shot at. They manage to dodge enemy attacks long enough for Mili to arrive and provide cover where the two are able to escape and set off the explosives. While the explosives do damage (Chibi: Creating another incredible explosion. You were right Nii-chan, these explosions are beautiful) it wasn’t enough to sink the Tri-Core.
Episodes 5-8
Nothing much really happens in episode 5. Mili takes on the Tri-Core where it systematically targets all of her weapons to disable them. In time all of her weapons will be disabled, and she’ll be a sitting duck. Qwen dives back into the ocean and figures out that the weak point of the Tri-Core is its shark fins. Using science, physics, and bunch of sea mines that got stuck on the Tri-Core, Qwen manages to detonate them and blow the Tri-Core up thus winning battle. With this battle the higher ups have no choice but to take notice of their achievements and send them off to their next mission (Nitsuj: We also get this funny bit. Scene here: https://youtu.be/rH0AE0v6ESs).
Episode 6 starts with Qwen and Havia in the desert for a joint operation with the Information Union against the Oceanian Military State who are persecuting local tribes for land development. During this operation, Mili will have backup from another Object pilot from the Information Union who is also an idol on the side (scene here: https://youtu.be/lzLQjb_Nax4. (Nitsuj): Well Christmas came early). While idling around, Havia convinces Qwen to go see Mili (he’s a good wingman) who is in the middle of tuning her suit with a flute (Chibi: Because science). The flute gets handed over to Qwen who tries to play it not knowing that he’s putting a great deal of pressure (Nitsuj: Or pleasure) on Mili (scene here: https://youtu.be/P5ClxVcgsB4). When it’s time for the troops to move out, Qwen gets a chance to talk to the Information Union’s Object pilot that idol they were ogling over before. While we never learn her real name she goes by a codename called, Oh ho ho (yeah for the sake of the review we’re going to call her Hisako. (Nitsuj): Why Hisako? (Isis): Because that’s the name of the VA voicing her). Qwen and Hisako start a conversation where they casually deconstruct the whole mecha genre (Nitsuj: Gotta love that meta humor) and Mili gets jealous that Qwen is paying attention to another girl (scene here: https://youtu.be/ZdFih3YddnE). Once they head out, they attack a forest area where they believe the Oceanians might be hiding with their Object. Before moving on, Qwen and Havia are sent into the forest to make sure no tribes are in the area for the Objects to pass through and our ladies take a quick break to cool down (scene here: https://youtu.be/KrPCad9JUAk). They find a village where the Oceanians open fire on the people and begin slaughtering everyone in the village.
(Chibi): In episode 7 with the help of Information Union troops, Qwen and Havia are able to stop the village massacre and capture a journalist who was sniping at the soldiers and screwing up their operation. He gets brought in and Frolaytia tells him that because of his selfish actions, he just set in motion a massacre by the Oceanians who plan to use their Object to kill villagers and pin the blame on the joint task force to turn the public against them (Nitsuj: Idiot). After this, the satellites pick up a reading they believe to be the Oceanians’ Object and head out to face it. However, Qwen has doubts and believes this is a decoy set up by the Oceanians. Having no evidence and only a hunch to go on, Qwen and Havia head out to the second location where they think the Object is located and tell the rest of the task force to be careful. They even take the journalist with them who wants to redeem himself after his screw up (which seems pointless as the guy does nothing. In fact, he completely disappears after this).
At the start of episode 8 we see that Qwen and Havia were right about the location of the Object (https://youtu.be/HsqmU3v0hVA). Luckily, the Object is a weaker model than the others so Mili should have no problem beating it. They radio the task force for reinforcements but it gets denied by Councilor Flide the commander of the task force. Flide doesn’t like how Qwen and Havia’s achievements have upset the status quo of the world and now believes that their achievements will inspire terrorists and smaller territories to take up arms even without Objects (Isis: He makes a point). Flide now plans to have Qwen and Havia die to reaffirm to the world that Objects are the ultimate weapon, no one can truly beat them, and the status quo will remain the same. Despite this setback (Nitsuj: And BS), our two heroes get to work defeating the Object which should be easy as it needed electricity to run and the cable is out in the open. They try to overload the Object with electricity but the cables are too short to each other, so they go with plan B, using water as a conductor (I’m sure you all know what happens next). Sure enough, this destroys the Object and once again Qwen and Havia have screwed the status quo. With their mission complete Qwen, Havia, Mili, and Frolaytia pay Flide a visit where they arrest him and destroy his second gen Object for good measure.
Episodes 9-12
We start episode 9 off with a laugh as Havia finds a very suggestive DVD and plays it for him and Qwen. However, their viewing gets interrupted by Vanderbilt, Havia’s betrothed wife (scene here: https://youtu.be/BJ5UDGsvVtQ). Havia and Vanderbilt’s families have been feuding for years with some even against their marriage. Once Havia becomes the head of his family he plans to end the conflict between their families and live a happy life with Vanderbilt who he really does care for despite acting coldly towards her. Frolaytia pulls the two away for a mission in Antarctica (Isis: First we were out in the hot desert now we’re in the freezing cold. What’s next, Seattle where it never stops raining?). Their satellites have picked up terrorist activity at an unmanned stationed and the two are sent in to investigate. The good news is there’s no Object, so the investigation shouldn’t be too hard. Qwen and Havia make contact with the terrorists who pin them down, but their fighting stops when they see a group of baby penguins passing through (scene here: https://youtu.be/iS1uRjwS9mY. (Nitsuj): Nobody can resist the cuteness of penguins). After using a grenade to destroy the ice which sends the terrorists into a ravine, Qwen and Havia continue to the unmanned station where they get attacked by sentry guns defending the post. Mili destroys the sentry guns with her long range weapons and the investigation begins where they find out the terrorists are using an unmanned computer to hack into a satellite so that they can fire a laser at a remote resort on the moon to kill this evil dictator. Since the target is an enemy of their kingdom they’re told to turn a blind eye and not interrupt the hacking. This however changes when Havia finds out that Vanderbilt is at the resort of the ruthless dictator the terrorists are trying to kill (scene here: https://youtu.be/WZYwMqX_Tt4. (Nitsuj): Well one thing’s for certain, she’s a keeper Havia). They stop the hacking to save everyone on the moon and don’t get punished for their actions. Meanwhile, Mili discovers traces of an Object that was previously there which seems to have submersible features.
(Nitsuj): Episode 10 sees the group heading to South America to intercept the Mass Driver Conglomerate, a group composed of fat cats who possess the best mass driver construction tech in the world (a key weapon for Objects). Rumor has it they have an Object and are planning to go to war soon, so our heroes are being sent in to confirm if this is true or not. While sailing on a ship and eating from fried chicken (that sounds good for lunch today), the conversation shifts to pole dancing (Isis: Where did this conversation come from? (Nitsuj): I have no idea but I approve it). Froylatia displays her skills on the pole (*The Jack Bros. and Nitsuj begin to throw money in the air* (Chibi): You’re throwing money at a computer screen. (Baron): Don’t ruin this for us Chibs. (Isis): Let them have this Chibi. It’s better than them making ball jokes) and Mili tries to show off as well but an accident occurs (scene here: https://youtu.be/FMxJcm5Y2Lw). They arrive in South America and begin searching the land for the Object where they find no trace of it (not trying to find a needle in a haystack. (Isis): From the mouth of a city boy up north) and receive a call from Halreed a high-ranking noble who pilots the new Object known as Bright Hopper. Right away he looks down on the group expecting them to fail and plans to swoop in and deal the killing blow to the enemy’s Object to earn fame and raise his ranking. He also seems to be interested in making Froytalia his wife as she comes from nobility (well give him credit, he has good taste in women. However, a guy like him is unworthy of Froytalia). Froytalia calls back Qwen and Havia telling them that they’re going to find and destroy the enemy’s Object before Halreed arrives.
At the start of episode 11 Halreed is making his way to the team’s location when out of nowhere he gets hit by Mass Driver Conglomerate’s ultimate weapon, a railgun capable of firing artillery shells at a velocity of Mach 25 (Isis: That’s almost 20,000 miles per hour). The Bright Hopper takes heavy damage and Halreed might possibly be dead (that’s got to make Froytalia happy). Using the clouds as a cover Mass Driver Conglomerate try to take out Baby Magnum but Qwen figures out the plan and alerts Mili to move in the nick of time allowing Baby Magnum to sustain minor damage. Mass Driver Conglomerate targets the base and wipes it out where a lot of the soldiers get scattered everywhere. Qwen gets found by Froytalia while Havia and Mili hide Baby Magnum in a location away from the clouds. A call gets made by the Bright Hopper’s support forces who are mad at what happened to the Bright Hopper and decide to throw rational thinking out the window (Isis: Such is the way when idiots get angry). The support force plans to disable Mass Driver Conglomerate’s Object by destroying a dam and flooding the region. However, this act will kill tens of thousands of people in the region (Chibi: And leave others homeless). Not liking this plan, Havia goes to stop them while Qwen and Froytalia go to find the location of Conglomerate’s Object they’ve codenamed Break Barrier. As Qwen and Froytalia lie in wait we hear the reason why Froytalia despite being of noble birth chooses to stay on the battlefield. We find out that she has a lot of suitors who would like nothing more than to marry her. Not only is she beautiful, intelligent, and independent but apparently the child she gives birth to will be a boy 100%. For nobles a male heir means everything to them and to marry a woman who is guaranteed to give you a boy is like finding the Holy Grail (Chibi: It’s like rolling a 20 at a critical moment in Dungeons and Dragons. (Isis): It’s like opening up a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards and seeing all the cards are extremely rare ones. (Baron): It’s like going into a videogame store and finding the 1990 Nintendo World Championships Gold Edition cartridge. (Corbin): It’s like winning Monopoly at McDonald’s. (Nitsuj): What we’re trying to say is its greatest thing ever). Froytalia stays on the battlefield not because she’s a thrill seeker or because she wants achievements, she does it because as soon as she steps off male suitors will be fighting for her and she’ll be forced to marry a man she doesn’t love (scene here: https://youtu.be/mdd24srBy40. (Isis): That’s sad. (Chibi): Really, really sad). Their talk soon gets interrupted by the sound of an Object but they can’t pinpoint its location.
In episode 12 Havia heads out to stop the dam from getting destroyed and sends Mili to Qwen and Froytalia’s location (scene here: https://youtu.be/4da279XqA00, phrasing). Havia finds himself being treated as a traitor and gets into a gun fight with soldiers all while stalling for time. Qwen finds the enemy’s Object and tells Mili where to fire using his bullets to relate a binary message to Baby Magnum. Mili gets the message and fires her plasma cannon through the mountain to destroy the Object to make the mission a success. However, Havia and Mili believe that the Mass Driver Conglomerate had a second Object they kept hidden. After the mission, Froytalia prepares to punish Qwen for abandoning her, but they get interrupted by Halreed who survived (Chibi: Dang it). He informs Froytalia that he’s now at the front of the line to be her suitor and tries to force her out of the army so they can get married (Isis: Geez buddy at least buy her dinner first). Qwen steps in and tricks Halreed into believing that he and Froytalia did the horizontal bop (along with the vertical drop and the Funky Duckman. . .twice). Halreed falls for the trick and disgusted by Froytalia’s actions with a commoner (don’t be jealous just because he became a man before you), cancels his marriage plans with her (scene here: https://youtu.be/-bkATLkIrXw).
(Nitsuj): And this seems like a good break point. Let’s stop here and meet back up next week for the second.
(Chibi): Sounds good to me.
(Isis): Me too. Thanks for reading everyone, we’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.
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