*Nitsuj is going on a rampage in his house* Destroy! Destroy! Everything must die! RAHHHHHH!
*Shizuku tackles him*
(Shizuku): Inject him! Inject the bastard now damn it!
(Mira): Okay I got it!
(Yin-Yang): Uh, hey guys welcome to Project Nitsuj.
(Mira): Oh my God he’s got his sword!
(Yin-Yang): Excuse me for a minute. Flying Wolf Fang!
(Isis): Please give us a minute. It’s Mahou Sensei Negima again.
(Shizuku): Isis! Less talking more injecting!
(Isis): Right!
*After one hour the AI girls are able to calm Nitsuj down and restrain him*
(Nitsuj): Okay, welcome to Project Nitsuj. Well guys it’s Negima time again. About a year after the first anime finished airing the anime studio Shaft (Dance in the Vampire Bund and Puella Magi Madoka Magica) decided they wanted to make their own anime of the hit manga series in 2006 which if you can believe it is actually worse than the first anime. Yes, there is something worse than the first anime and you all know how mad I got at that anime. Unlike the first anime however which is based off the original manga, this anime is actually based off the manga called Negima!? Neo. Negima!? Neo is the alternative to the original manga, the manga is pretty much the same story as the original manga only with different events. Negi is still a 10 year old kid from England who’s secretly a mage and in order to graduate he has to teach an English class to a bunch of middle school girls in Japan at an all-girl school. The manga got started in 2006 and ended in 2009 having only 7 volumes making it much shorter and ending way before the original manga. Most people didn’t read this manga (some didn’t even known it existed) and those that did read it (myself included) didn’t really care for it. Everyone just saw it as Ken Akamatsu’s poor attempt at trying to revamp a series that didn’t need to be revamped. So I’m about to review an anime based off a manga that nobody read or knew existed and even those that did read it didn’t enjoy it? Is anybody else out there besides me scared shitless right now? So, in order to prevent me from going off on another rampage like last time measures have been taken to keep me tied down. For starters I’m in a strait jacket to prevent me from using my arms, I’ve been locked into a glass chamber to prevent me from moving, and the AI girls are on standby with sedatives and stun guns. (Shizuku): And a hammer. (Nitsuj): Yes, thank you Shizuku, and the house is in lockdown preventing me from leaving. Let’s get this ride to hell over with and take a look at Negima!?
Opening and Ending Theme
The opening for this anime is “1000% SPARKING!” sung by the cast of the anime. I hated this opening. Throughout half the opening we don’t hear any singing and instead get a bad instrument accompaniment that sounds like something out of a horror anime. When we actually do here singing it still doesn’t make the song any better. The ending is “A-LY-YA!” which is once again sung by the cast of the anime. I actually did find this ending cute and charming. The music is good the lyrics are nice and sounds so happy and sweet. Probably the best part of the ending is the animation. During the ending we’ll see a few of the characters in chibi form play instruments that you don’t here in the song and just having a good time. It starts off with just Asuna but as the series goes on more characters join in. It’s cute, silly, and fun to watch.
Episodes 1-4
The anime begins just like manga with Negi finding out that he’s going to be an English teacher in Japan at an all-girls middle school (make it high school and you’ll have yourself a worthy ecchi anime in the works). He arrives in Japan with Chamo accompany him where they reach the school and get trampled by a herd of wild school girls racing to class (get a long little ladies). Chamo’s tooth gets chipped off and Negi repairs it but unbeknownst to him Asuna saw it but was half asleep during all of it so chances are she’ll just write it off as just a figment of her imagination (which is totally different from what happened in the manga. Screw-up: 1. Don’t, don’t even bother the whole anime doesn’t follow the manga like at all). He runs away and meets up with Takahata who decides to introduce him to his class which is in the middle of talking about the recent vampire attacks that have been happening on campus (so Alucard’s going for younger girls now instead of older women? I guess we really can’t understand his sexual preference after all) but Asuna says that it wasn’t a vampire that attacked the students it was the cupacabra (a cupacabra? As in that mythical beast passed down through ages in Mexico and South America that’s been known to attack and feed on sheep? Why would this creature be in Japan and how does she know about this? Also, something you’ll quickly learn about in this anime is that Asuna is an annoying idiot this time around. Unlike the first anime where she’s a somewhat lovable idiot this time she’s just an annoying idiot). After Negi introduces himself we see they’re all ecstatic about having a cute a 10-year old boy as their teacher (and possibly banging him). After class Negi gets put in the care of Konoka and will be living with her and Asuna who after a whole day puts together that Negi is a mage (and the light bulb in that small brain of her has finally gone off). We end the episode with Konoka going outside to retrieve something but getting attacked by Eva who we find out is responsible for all of the vampire attacks (*Calls police station* Alright Alucard isn’t are perp let him- What? He’s already escaped!? Killed almost everyone in the station!? He put another man’s head up another man’s what!? Damn I ain’t heard of that happening. What the actual shit Alucard?).
In episode 2 Eva kidnaps an unconscious Nodoka and Negi saves her. Eva tries to capture Negi because she wants his blood (and about half the other girls want his white stuff in their bellies) but he reflects her magic back at her and Chachamaru takes the hit protecting Eva (she’s no good for ya kid). After that she retreats and a few of the other students come to check on Konoka and Nodoka. Once they all leave Asuna tells Negi she knows who he is and after hearing his story she promises to keep the fact that he’s a mage a secret. For the rest of the episode we just prepare for the next battle about to take place between Eva and Negi because a full moon is upon them and Eva will be at her strongest making this the best time to get Negi. Also, Chachamaru gets repaired and is ready for the next battle (she’s combat ready).
In episode 3 Eva comes for Negi and he lures her out to the lake (a fitting spot for a romantic blood sucking date) and Asuna shows up throwing her shoes and even a boat at Eva to save Negi (who throws a boat, hell who even lifts a boat to throw it). Chachamru shows and along with Eva turns the lake into one giant ice fortress trapping Negi and Asuna where they have no choice but to perform a patio with each other in order to fight against the duo (I say we just give her Negi and let her suck out his blood the anime will be over more quickly). The four fight with Negi ultimately blinding Eva and having her crash head-on into an ice statue (oh that’s just sad on her part) knocking her unconscious and she gets saved by Negi who promises to find a way to free her. After that things go back to normal with Eva deciding not to harm anybody else and actually attending class.
In episode 4 we fast forward a year where Negi is in his second year of teaching (wow, just like that huh). Two messengers from the Academy of Magic named Shichimi and Motsu who have taken the appearance of drawings of a cat and frog drawn by Haruna one of Negi’s student and a close friend of Nodoka and Yui have come to the academy to warn the headmaster that someone has stolen the Star Crystal a magical item that amplifies the magic of the user indefinitely from the magic school. They believe the culprit has come to their academy and decide they’ll stick around and keep an eye on Negi (and to annoy us to no end). As Negi walks around the academy he senses a dark mist seeping on the grounds and goes to destroy it but Nodoka sees him and it gets exposed that he’s a mage again (you’re really bad at keeping the secret aren’t you Negi). Shichimi and Motsu see this and are about to report this to the Academy of Magic (tattle-tellers) but Chamo convinces them that Nodoka is Negi’s partner and like idiots they believe him without asking for evidence or investigating further (in a good way). Meanwhile Asuna has started her own club with Konoka, Setsuna, and Haruna whose sole purpose is to find the chupacabra (yeah I forgot to mention that Asuna has an obsession with the chupacabra in this anime. Did I also forget to mention that she’s annoying stupid in this anime) and receive a tip the chupacabra is in the school building (words cannot describe the amount of stupidity going on with this girl’s logic). Negi and Nodoka join them where Negi, Asuna, and Nodoka get transported to an artificial forest in Wales where they get attacked by a fairy. Negi activates Asuna’s pactio where we see in this anime when a pactio is form you get 3 forms that come at random and he pulls out the cosplay card where Asuna dawns a festival outfit and her weapon is a paper fan (what is this a comedy duo routine? Actually all kidding aside the paper fan is a pretty dangerous weapon). The fairy traps them in a maze where they get lost and Asuna runs out of power and reverts back to her original form. Nodoka decides she wants to help and forms a pactio with Negi but shortly after finishing the pactio Nadoka gets captured by vines (surprise vine tentacle butt sex) and Eva and Chachamaru come to their aid and help them rescue Nodoka. Eva tries to go after the fairy where she gets possessed by that dark mist and attacks Negi where he deflects her magic and destroys the black mist saving Eva and returning back to the school.
Episodes 5-9
In episode 5 Nodoka tries out her new powers where we see that in her cosplay card (which is just her in glasses) she has the ability to read the minds of others and decides to use the ability to read Negi’s mind (scene here: //youtu.be/HDIXQX07fXc, what a fierce power. Glasses truly are dangerous. (Mira): Damn straight *chuckles*). After that, Negi senses the presence of that dark power again in . . .the school graveyard (that’s a little odd, why does the school have a graveyard in the first place?). Asuna and Konoka are there as well and get attacked where Konoka gets captured by a tree monster (only you can prevent yourself from getting your ass raped by a tree monster) where Negi comes in and activates Asuna’s pactio but instead of getting a good card he instead gets a dud card which is the weakest of all the pactio cards and turns Asuna into a chibi form of some strange animal (well on the plus side she looks and sounds cute now). Setsuna comes in and destroys the tree monster with her sword (way to go lesbian sword girl) and tries to save Konoka with the group but can’t reach her in time forcing Negi to use his magic and save her. But of course Shichimi and Motsu come out of nowhere and see all of this and are about to report Negi that is until Chamo convinces them that Konoka and Setsuna are actually Negi’s partners but this time they want proof so Setsuna makes fire appear on her finger which convinces them (no! Ask to see there pactio transformation you fucking idiots). As their walking to school they tell Konoka and Setsuna what’s going on and Konoka decides to form a pactio with Negi so that she can gain powers and help out (you just wanted to kiss him didn’t you?). After the kiss a stream of powerful magic transports all of them into an alternate world where Kaede, Yuna, and Chisame (more students of Negi) have been brainwashed, forced to dress in maid outfits (nice work villain) and attack them WITH Chewy’s crossbow gun (Isis: Not gonna lie I kinda want that gun. (Nitsuj): Yeah well I would like to be out of this glass container but we can’t all be happy now can we? (Isis): Okay, I see someone forgot to take their happy pills today. (Nitsuj): Don’t test me woman).
In episode 6 the forest fairy from episode 4 returns and uses Kaede, Yuna, and Chisame to attack the gang. Negi activates the pactios of all the mini-harem girls (he needs at least 5 girls to make it a harem) and he pulls out a dud card for all of them turning them into chibi animal girls in cosplay outfits (wow Negi you’re a terrible card player. Don’t bother going to Vegas you’ll be broke in no time). Realizing they’ll lose Negi uses a teleportation spell to get them all to a safe place (he can use a teleportation spell but he can’t execute a mind erasing spell?). They all eat to replenish their strength and Negi figures out that this illusionary world is the woods of Wales where he used to play with his sister and friend Anya. They reach a castle where they again face the fairy and their brainwashed classmates only this time Negi manages to pull out all rare cards which are the strongest cards and with Nodoka’s ability to read the mind of her enemies the gang is able to take down Kaede, Yuna, and Chisame without any problems and go after the fairy who has entered the castle. The fairy returns with the brainwashed student and the mini-harem takes on their classmates while Negi and Setsuna try to defeat the fairy. They corner the fairy but she traps them inside a tree and the others run out of power and return to normal where the fairy uses the tree to begin the tree tentacle rape (again with the tentacle rape Japan! What is your obsession with it?). Setsuna decides it’s time to enter a pactio with Negi (and receive an indirect kiss from Konoka) and he pulls out a rare card which turns Setsuna into a samurai angel where she takes out her fellow students and Negi is able to defeat the fairy and return everyone back to the real world with Kaede, Yuna, and Chisame having no recollection of what happened to them.
In episode 7 Asuna has ordered chupacabra t-shirts (what is this anime’s obsession with the chupacabra? Seriously what’s the point of this thing it’s just random, stupid, and not funny at all) but she’s ordered too many of them and has to sell them all off otherwise she’ll be in the red for a while. While that stupid side story will go nowhere, we see that Negi has had a breakthrough in his magic training and can now see spirits (I see dead people). He uses this new magic skill to finally meet Sayo and tries to figure out how she died so she can move on. They think the answer lays in the student dorm so they go in there and Sayo gets separated from Negi and begins exploring all the rooms scaring the hell out of everybody (quick. Call the Ghostbusters). With the help of Eva everyone is finally able to see her and see that she’s not dangerous so they all welcome her to the class.
Wanting to know more about the crystal he got from the defeated fairy, in episode 8 Negi and the gang decide to go to Library Island in the hopes of finding some clues. They get Nodoka to use her powers to find out about the crystal but since she doesn’t know the name of the crystal they can’t find out anything about it (making this trip, totally pointless). While in the library Negi sees a mysterious figure known as the Black Rose Baron who he believes is his dad in disguise so he tries to catch him but fails and runs into Fumika and Fuka who are also in the library trying to look for a book that will help them become adults quicker since they’re tired of being treated like kids (you’re in middle school you are kids). Negi quickly tells them everything and impressed with his adult way of thinking and wanting to help him out they ask if they can perform a pactio with him as well and be his partners (might as well they found out you’re secret). So Fumika and Fuka become Negi’s partners (and he now has a harem), they escape the library safely learning nothing about the crystal, and to top off this episode they start something stupid with Makie believing that Motsu is her father.
Moving on to episode 9, where not a whole lot happens. Negi takes the girls he’s formed a pactio with up into the mountains for some hot forest sex. Nah, just kidding he just takes them on a training camp to teach them how to use magic where he collapses from exhaustion and gets better by drinking some medicine from Kaede who was also in the mountains for ninja training where she reveals that she’s been watching Negi all this time, that she knows he’s a mage, and that he has formed a pactio with all the girls in the training camp (creepy stalker ninja girl). She decides to aid him in his search for his father and forms a pactio with him (the kid is on fire with these girls).
Episodes 10-12
In episode 10 Ayaka (the class representative who has an unhealthy obsession with Negi) finds out about the camping trip and becomes suspicious of what Asuna and the chupacabra club (every time I write that word a part of me dies inside) are up to so she tries to get to the bottom of it but Negi uses his cute 10-year old face to make her believe it was just a regular camping trip and that next time he’ll be sure to invite her next time (no you won’t). As she’s walking away she along with a few other students get attacked by the dark mist and Negi and his partners get transported back to the illusion world where they’re in the forest of Wales and the only colors are black, white, and gray for some reason (was there a budget cut somewhere or something or was the director of this series trying to be Avant-guard? If so than let me tell something it’s been done before in the past and it was done way better than what you’re doing Mr. Director). A new fairy shows up to attack the gang and in this fight the harem is pretty much useless and Negi defeats the fairy all by himself (harem members I have this to say to you: //youtu.be/Ek1ktZO3lLw). At the end of the episode Negi figures out that the target of all the fairies is him (no shit Wales boy).
Nothing much happens in episode 11. Asuna and the rest of the. . . you know what club try to capture the Black Rose Baron but have no luck with that (I expected nothing to begin with from her antics). While that’s going Haruna and Yue find out that Negi is a mage (why am I not surprise) and in order to keep Negi from getting in trouble they form a pactio with him. Haruna is okay with it and gives him a French kiss (damn girl he’s 10 years old) but Yue can’t bring herself to kiss him and runs away (she’s only into girls apparently). Shichimi and Motsu find out about Yue discovering Negi’s secret and leave to go and investigate her to see if it’s true to end the episode.
The race is on in episode 12 to find and capture Yue (dead or alive) and get her to kiss Negi before Shichimi and Motsu find her and confirm that she’s not Negi’s partner. They keep chasing her but she keeps giving them the slip each time and find out the reason why she’s hesitant to kiss Negi is because she knows that Nodoka likes him and doesn’t want to steal her best friend’s love interest (a noble gesture but how is your friend supposed to develop a relationship with Negi if the guy turns into an animal? So pucker up and kiss that 10 year old boy). She finally agrees to kiss Negi and become one of his partners (took her long enough. Wasted one whole episode) but the rest of the class sees the pactio being formed (yeah probably not the best idea to kiss him in the open) and Shichimi and Motsu report this the Academy of Magic. Negi is stripped of all his magic and turned into this anime’s version of the chupacabra.
Enough! Damn it! Enough with the fucking chupacabra it’s not funny! It’s random and pointless! In fact pretty much everything in each episode is pointless. I know it seems like I’m flying through all these episodes without really going much into them but that’s because there’s really not that much to talk about. About 75% of the episode is random parodies and side sketches that serve no purpose whatsoever and take away from what little story there is in the anime. In almost every fucking scene there are some random animals, sketch, or saying going on in the background that serves no purpose and under the false impression that it’s funny when really it’s just a distraction that’s fucking annoying! Christ! Who directed this anime? Seriously, I gotta know Isis pull up who directed this anime. (Isis): Let’s see, the person who directed this anime is Akiyuki Shinbo. (Nitsuj): Akiyuki Shinbo. *bangs head on glass chamber* Son of a bitch! (Shizuku): You alright there boss? (Nitsuj): Yeah, I’m fine. Could you guys let me out I gotta go to the rest room. (Isis): Sure.
*Yin-Yang unlocks the door and Mira unties Nitsuj’s straitjacket freeing him*
(Nitsuj): Thank you. ARRRRG! Screw this anime! I’m gonna burn this whole fucking city to the ground! ARRRRRRGG!
*Isis fires her stun guns Shizuku hits Nitsuj with her hammer, and Yin-Yang injects him with a sedative which knock him out*
(Mira): I knew he was gonna go berserk on us again. Put him back in the chamber.
(Yin-Yang): Well guys it looks like the review will be on hold for now. Thanks for reading, we’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.
To be continued
*All images, videos, and music do not belong to me and belong to their respected owners*
Thanks for reading. As always feel free to leave comment, feedback, or request in the comment section below or send to iamprojectnitsuj@gmail.com