Hello and welcome to Project Nitsuj. Every now and then you come across an anime and find yourself saying: this would have worked out better as a hentai. I’ve said this about a number of animes in the past and one of those is today’s review, Peter Grill and the Philosopher’s Time. Based off a manga written by Daisuke Hiyama in 2017, it was an ecchi/comedy set in a fantasy world with monsters, humans, and elves. In the summer of 2020, as the world was suffering from covid, this series got turned into a short-length anime by Wolfsbane and when I say short-length I mean that each episode was only half the run time of a full-length anime. But hey, you got three of my favorite genres and I could use a good laugh. So let’s get into some ecchi hijinks, this is Peter Grill and the Philosopher’s Time.
Episodes 1-4
The anime starts off at a fighting tournament to name the strongest man in the world. We see our main character Peter Grill voiced by Hiro Shimono (Zenitsu from Kimestu no Yaiba) an adventurer in the finals facing a minotaur where he wins and is declared the strongest man in the world (congratulations. I’ll add you in the same hall as Goku, Superman, and more). With this victory Peter now believes that his guildmaster will give him his blessings in marrying his daughter, Luvellia. The two have been dating for 2 years now but they haven’t gotten far in their relationship because the guildmaster is very protective of his daughter and has kept her sheltered from the world. This has caused a major problem in Luvellia: she is unbelievably innocent. I mean it, Luvellia is so innocent that despite being slightly older than Peter, she still believes that babies come from storks and the only way to get one is to pray really hard (oh my goodness. Does anybody know a good sex ed facility?). As if that wasn’t bad enough, we see that Lisa voiced by Hibiku Yamamura (Noriko from Kiznaiver) and her sister Mimi voiced by Ayana Taketatsu (Kotori from Date A Live) who are ogres and part of the same guild as Peter want to have his babies. Ogres are attracted to strength and now that he’s the strongest man in the world he’s the only mate for them (makes sense, right?). Peter denies their advances as he’s committed to Luvellia, but when they appear in front of him in their natural beauty all of his resolve is destroyed (those ogre bodies be too fine). Sure enough he sleeps with them and feels terrible about what he did (Baron: But in the moment it felt like the greatest thing ever).
At the start of episode 2 Luvellia comes to visit Peter (boy I can’t wait to see him explain this situation to her) and with quick thinking he hides the ogre sisters in his closet (that’s a fitting metaphor for this situation) while he and Luvellia talk. Luvellia has decided to tell her overprotective father, the guildmaster, about their relationship (he just won a tournament woman, give him time to prepare for his next challenger) and his reaction is what you would expect (angry and prepared to slice a bastard). Luvellia defends Peter saying that if the guildmaster can’t accept their relationship she’ll disown the family name and leave. Not wanting to lose his daughter, the guildmaster begrudgingly gives his blessings to the couple and their engagement. That night, they have a party where the ogre sisters want another round with the strongest man in the world (this it’ll be a whole new workout for him). The sisters are totally okay with Peter and Luvellia getting married as they’re not in love with him, they just want his babies (Corbin: Sex friends. Say no more). The three almost get caught at the party but thanks to some quick thinking from Peter and luck he’s able to avoid getting caught only to wind up sleeping with them later on (ending the episode on probably the most logical line I’ve ever heard in anime: Why are people only capable of rational thought AFTER they’ve already screwed up?).
In episode 3 Peter gets attacked by an elf ambassador named Vegan (Corbin: Not for long) voiced by Akari Uehara. Vegan has been sent to acquire Peter’s white nectar (as they call it) in order to produce strong offspring. You know how elves are often portrayed as intelligent badasses who could single-handedly take down an army if they felt like it? Well in this world they’re still intelligent beings but are weak and apparently their race is declining because of it. So what better way to make the race strong than by mating with the strongest man in the world? Peter of course says no because one, he has Luvellia (didn’t seem to matter with the ogre sisters), and two, Vegan has the body of a child so he can’t get it up (glad to see he has some standards). Vegan not accepting this puts a curse on Peter’s crotch and takes her leave vowing that he’ll come running to her when the time is right. The next day Luvellia and her men get attacked by a monster (which looks the final boss in a H.P Lovecraft game) while on a mission to eliminate it since it has been destroying villages and raping women with tentacles (a fan of the classics. (Corbin): I can respect that). Once Peter hears about this, he rides out to save Luvellia hoping he’s not too late before she stars in her own hentai.
At the start of episode 4 Peter saves Luvellia and defeats the Lovecraft monster single-handedly (he lives up to his title) only to find himself in an awkward position after the battle, he has a boner (you know some ogres that can handle that for you. Or better yet, now is a good time to teach Luvellia about letting swords douse the fire within). Peter has the boner for hours (that’s never a good sign) and Vegan appears before him in the baths where she explains that the spell she put on him gave him an eternal erection. Unless the spell is removed the tissue within Peter’s manhood will be damaged and he won’t be able to get an erection ever again (https://youtu.be/iUWnnz3-m7A?t=9). The only way for his erection to go away is for him to have sex with Vegan and after much pain he’s given no choice but do it with her in order to protect his future with Luvellia.
Episodes 5-8
In episode 5 the Guildmaster tries to sabotage the relationship between Peter and Luvellia by forcing him to accept the marriage proposal of an orc lord’s daughter. Wanting to maintain a good relationship between the guild, the kingdom and the orc tribe, Peter agrees to meet the young orc girl where he suspects that the Guildmaster wants him to say something that will insult the orcs resulting in a war (you don’t give this guy enough credit Peter). However, Peter gets caught completely off guard when he sees that the orc is a shy and beautiful dark-skinned girl with big breasts named Piglette (damn, that’s got to be the hottest orc I’ve ever seen) voiced by Sayaka Senbongi (Haru from Beastars). So yeah, Piglette has the appearance of a normal human girl with pig ears and a tail instead of the monstrous pigs that have become synonymous with these creatures. Because of her appearance, she was considered ugly in the eyes of orcs which resulted in her having low self-esteem. Peter and Piglette go walking through the city where she panics as she’s never really talked to a man before and runs away from Peter where she gets cornered by three adventurers the Guildmaster sent to make a scene. Peter saves her (obviously) saying that she is cute and they continue their tour of the city having a good time. When they return Peter tries to politely get out of this marriage proposal by saying it’s a political ploy (was it that obvious?) and that Piglette’s feelings were never taken into account. The Guildmaster forces Peter to spend the night to show good manners where Piglette enters the room in heat mode (looks like Peter is about to have some extra thicc bacon tonight).
Nothing much happens in episode 6. Peter does the nasty with Piglette (can’t say I blame him. She’s the cutest of the bunch so far) and then convinces her to lie to the others about it. Peter’s convincing works and Piglette lies saying nothing happened between them, however, she requested to remain in the city and be Peter’s attendant at the guild. It turns out that Piglette still has feelings for Peter and wants to have a child not to make the orcs stronger, but because she wants to raise and train the child herself to enact revenge on all the orcs who made her life a living hell (this girl definitely has some issues).
In episode 7 all the girls are in Peter’s room arguing over who gets his seed (there’s plenty to go around folks). They decide to play a game to see who can arouse him the most (feel like the ogres have the advantage in this situation). It comes down to a tie between the ogre sisters and Piglette while Vegan didn’t even come close to arousing Peter (she has the body of a child. She has no sex appeal, only cute appeal). In order to stop the fighting, Peter incorporates the help of alcohol which does the opposite of what he wanted to happen and he sleeps with all the girls (scene here: https://youtu.be/N8v8MFFe24U).
For episode 8, the girls have worked out a schedule where they all get a day to ride the Peter express. When his day of rest comes (even the good Lord rested on Sunday) he goes on a date with Luvellia and has a good time until Mimi shows up trying to get a jump on the others and forces him away from his date for a quickie (https://youtu.be/vtjU3e0IYgc, quickie). Not wanting to ruin his date and make Luvellia catch on (I doubt she would, she’s too innocent) he gives in to Mimi’s demand as well as the demands of Vegan and Lisa who show up for a quickie as well (scene here: https://youtu.be/JJidasa6EKU).
Episodes 9-12
Not much happens in episode 9. While sulking in the baths, Piglette comes in to wash his back and he does it with her again (can’t blame him. That orc be too fine). The other girls are also there, and an orgy commences where it gets revealed that there’s no penalty for breaking the treaty meaning it was pointless from the get go. Peter finally has a mental breakdown and decides to just run away from it all (yeah at this point you might as well just dump Luvellia. Seriously, you cheated on that girl more times than Makoto cheated on Sekai from School Days. The only difference being that you went for quality over quantity). However, he can’t bring himself to abandon Luvellia (stop sleeping around or invite her to the orgies) and instead just sulks in the rainy streets (naked). He comes across a male ogre named Antonio who listens to his story and gives him some advice telling him not to give up (just stop cheating or put a penalty in place and we’ll be fine). Antonio also reveals that he’s here in search of the woman he loves who just happens to be Lisa and who just happens to be a princess (oh shit, she and Mimi are royalty? Yeah, Peter might just be fucked here).
In episode 10 Lisa admits that she and Mimi are princesses. Three years ago they left their kingdom in search of a worthy donor because the male ogres in their kingdom couldn’t match their strength. To ogres, strength is everything, their goal is to create a generation stronger than the previous and that’s why Lisa is so hellbent on carrying Peter’s child. Once she gets pregnant, she intends to return to lead her people and never reveal Peter as the actual father (wow, you are like every man’s wet dream when it comes to child support). Antonio walks in on Peter and Lisa in a very compromising position (don’t you knock?) and he attacks Peter. Lisa stops the fighting saying she has no intention of marrying someone weaker than her, so Antonio challenges Peter to a duel where the winner will get Lisa.
At the start of episode 11, Peter realizes that all he has to do is lose and Lisa (and possibly Mimi) will leave him alone and go with Antonio. Unfortunately, Lisa predicted something like this would happen and has taken precautions. She invited Luvellia to watch the duel and has Mimi on standby to tell her about their arrangement should he lose on purpose (she really wants his baby. That, and apparently he’s good in the sack). As if that wasn’t bad, Antonio earns the support of the crowd when he reveals he’s still a virgin (Corbin: With a body like that? (Nitsuj): It’s all about confidence). Now the crowd wants Peter to lose (so if he loses his secret sex life will be exposed and if he wins he’ll be the most hated man in the city. Sucks to be him). Sure enough, Peter wins (scene here: https://youtu.be/rGubbMlFgi4, boo~, Peter sucks. Boo~), but Antonio begs Lisa for one more chance to prove his strength. His request gets heard, and Lisa challenges him to a duel to decide this once and for all at a later date. Antonio begs Peter to train him and he accepts along with Vegan and Piglette helping him. During this training, we see a guild girl named Mitchie deliver lunch to Antonio because she has a crush on him (that, and she has a muscle fetish). The day of the duel arrives, will Antonio overcome his mountain and win the affection of Lisa (past experience says, no.)?
At the start of the final episode Antonio loses to Lisa because he was distracted by her bouncy breasts (damn it! We never taught him how to keep his sex drive in check. (Corbin): Who wouldn’t be distracted by those things?). Luckily, things end on a good note for him as he gets with Mitchie and they do the nasty (scene here: https://youtu.be/o-uEpOTjxD4, I’m surprised she still in one piece). The anime wraps up with Luvellia fetching Peter to go on a goblin slaying quest (I’ll call up Goblin Slayer and meet you at the spot. (Corbin): I’ll bring the Doom music). It’ll just be the two of them with his harem following behind to get their daily dose of vitamin D. After the credits, we see the goblins are all female (because of course they are) and it looks like Peter’s sister is also on the way (pray she doesn’t have a brother complex).
Final Thoughts
Well guys, all joking aside, this anime is pretty bad. It starts off funny at first, but after a while you start to feel bad and disgusted at what you see. You feel bad for Luvellia for unknowingly getting cuckolded. You don’t feel bad for Peter because he keeps falling into temptation and sleeping with the girls instead of putting his foot down and saying no. You come to dislike the girls for not respecting Peter’s wishes or feelings and just using him for their own selfish reasons. It’s a shame because there is some potential here. If Peter didn’t have Luvellia and this series was a hentai, I actually would have enjoyed it. But as a comedy/ecchi anime it disgusts me. It almost feels like I’m watching a fantasy version of School Days only without the asshole MC and the girls are actually good-looking.
Final Score
The final score for this anime is a 2.5/10. This is a rare case where the anime would have been better off going all the way and be a hentai. I don’t recommend this as there are better ecchi anime out there, but if you don’t mind a little cuckold then give this anime a chance. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time on Project Nitsuj.